I Have Bad News...

Greetings all, the last couple weeks have been filled with such splendor that I feel I would not do them justice with my meager recollections. Thus I will just let everyone know I'm still alive, and in just over a week I will be on a plane back to the good ol' U-S-of-A. I look forward to seeing you all and hearing about your own adventures while I transversed the mountains of Munich and hitchhiked across the English Channel. Good luck surviving the next week, I'll certainly need it to get all my homework done!

P.S. Look at the funny letters I can do on the German keyboard! äö§µßü So silly!

Current mood: nostalgic

Eye Haf Vire Tearibl Noos...

Hey y'all. Back from Scotland and killing time in London until our field trip to a mosque and the key ceremony at London Tower

York was very fun: I saw a play, played hackey sac, watched my classmates get plastered and sit on each others' laps, went to a chocolate factory, learned a great deal about *gasp* international business, played Egyptian Rat Slap—or something like that—until all hours of the night when the security guard kicked us out for being too rowdy, swallowed my tongue ring, witnessed a rugby teams crazy craziness, and basically enjoyed myself in general.

Edinburgh consisted of a ten mile walk to the wrong Argyle St., a ten mile walk back to the right one, a haunted hostel, four Polish bricklayers and a musically induced seizure, [helping] cook lunch for ten (where we bought way too much food), numerous piercings, countless drunken debaucheries, a Norwegian girl getting her purse stolen, passing my tongue ring, SPACEBALLS!, cold and rainy weather, and a five hour train ride back to London.

All in all I'd give York and Edinburgh (on a scale of 1 to sweet): a gnarly. Being that our law firm visit was canceled this morning I'm off to Camden Town to find a piercing/tattoo shop... :) Wish me luck!

Current mood: recumbent

I Have Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad News...

This week was a bit less mind-blowing then the previous one, yet still entertaining enough to allow me to press on. Below is one thing per day I found worthy of sharing.

Monday: We talked to a homeless person in class.

Tuesday: We had class in a pub.

Wednesday: In Introduction to International Business we had a friend of our teacher's daughter talk to us about the Oxford school structure. Interesting, but... really?

Thursday: Went to open mike night and experienced some poetry, examples include: "Ants Are Going to Take Over the World", "Dracula Has AIDS", and "Dinosaurs Died of Indigestion". It was dandy.

Friday: Went to a circus! All human, all fun! Quite entertaining.

Saturday: Guy Fawkes Day! This is the English version of Independence Day, so there was plenty of fireworks and blowing things up all night long.

Sunday: I... did homework. Yeah, exciting I know.

Also due to the fact that some of us feel our classes lack a bit in the 'learning' portion, we have decided to take it into our own hands. Tonight we are going to meet at a pub and present on and discuss the topic we have each researched for the past week. It may sound nerdy, but I'm quite anticipating the feeling of actual growth in my lobal regions. It isn't that our classes are bad, they just don't have much substance. I am not complaining though, less substance = better grade. :)

Talk to you all sometime next week upon my return from Scotland. Spamalot is only two weeks from now! Yipee!

Current Mood: productive

J'ai De Mauvaises Nouvelles...

Salut mes amis! I have returned from my trip to France, and it was undeniably a doozy. To regale you with the tales of the past two weeks would be boastful and could not do my experience justice, so I'll stick with the highlights reel.

Thursday night I slept at Derrick's step-second-cousin's roommate's flat. Friday morning I got into Paris. I learned upon arrival in Rouen that if I valued friends based on the awesome-factor of their home town, and their subsequent ability to guide me through it (which I do), Bastien ranks number one with no contest. That night consisted of a French dinner (cheese) and a Jazz concert. The next day involved a road trip across France to Lyon and another Jazz concert (slightly more on the Gypsy end of the music spectrum). Later I had my first clubbing experience--on a boat--which lasted until daybreak the following morning. Then there was a market, a roman amphitheater and lots of churches. On Monday Bastien and I drove back home with a pit stop in Versailles. The following day I was left to my own devices in Paris, where I stayed in his father's apartment just on the edge of town. I walked for twelve hours the first day, visited the Louvre, walked some more, and met up with Bastien's sister's boyfriend and walked even more the second day. Finally: I went to the Pompidou modern art museum, saved some girls from a transient bum who insisted on throwing crackers--given to him by me--at them, experienced a naked drunken mob of Parisians on the metro, saw a tiger on the street, visited the top of the Eiffel Tower at night, slept in a train station until I got kicked out by the police, moved to the street with some hobos, and then went back to London.

All-in-all it was totally worth it, and I learned more in one week than I have all semester so far.

Most useful phrase: Tu as un beau clu, tu baise?

Thing I am taking back to America: Greetings by kissing.

Only bad thing about the trip: That I had to come home.

Something to look forward to: Moving to France next summer to work on Bastien's farm.

Current mood: satisfied

P.S. Upon returning to Oxford I attempted to reinvigorate my mohawk hairstyle, only to find that my razor died after getting essentially half of it done. Upon trying to charge it without a converter, my adapter has been fried, and hence my new picture showcasing a halfhawk. Enjoy!

I Have Apocalyptic News...

This past week was a busy one, and the one coming up looks even busier. The one following that one is even more busier. Perhaps even the most busierest.

Past: We went to London and a few museums, including the coolest museum known to man that contained the coolest exhibit known to man. Let me just say: A five story slide spiraling into infinity is most certainly art, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. I also spent the weekend in Ireland dancing, getting kissed by drunken Irishians, eating, touring, watching a nifty Comedia-inspired play, reading and finishing Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, contemplating my navel, dancing, and just being a booze-hound in general. It was quite fun.

Present: This week is the last week of class before our break, and we have two midterm papers, a painting, a research paper, notes to take on the book, a paper on our visit to the hotels, a paper on another country, an oral presentation on a country, and various other minor things. My completion percentage so far... 10%! I will get it all done in time though, I am just that good.

Future: Next week I am off to France for a seven day party-thon involving a friend I met in America: Bastien. The day after we get there he is going to bring us to a party in Lyon (2 hours south of Paris) and I am sure I have no idea what to expect. After he leaves the country a bit later to do some traveling of his own, I expect I will have met enough people to shack us up for free... or maybe we will just sleep in the park like one of my fellow students did on his trip to the lovely land of France. This also means I probably will not be updating my blog and such for a bit, so you will just have to find some other way to live vicariously through me, mother.

I have yet to receive any mail from you people, and I am not at all upset. It just means I have no obligation to send you anything! Keep being lazy, as it allows my laziness to proliferate as well! Yeah! Go exclamations!!!

Till next time: All I have learned about life can be summed up in three words. It goes on. - Robert Frost

Current mood: exanimate

I Have Good News... (For People Who Love Bad News...)

The doctors have once again reminded me of the terminal-ness of my condition, and as a result of the stressful two-day school week I endured they recommended I take a vacation.

What better place than Amsterdam? My partner in crime, Ann, and I decided there is no better place to forget your woes than where one can buy marijuana cigarettes legally, and also we must not forget the red light districts which are common and sanctioned as well.

Due to these circumstances the last three days of my life are a blur of drug-induced hallucinations, shady alleys, and dutch. Lots and lots of dutch.

What I do remember is: a clown's bellybutton, a magic wallet, a vegan restaurant, pear juice, Robin Williams as a robo-... I'm sorry, I mean 'human', fisherman's sandwiches, two Germans, a Spainard, and couple of Dubains, one of which recently quit his illegal job and plans to go to England to pursue more employment, the market, some sort of magic mushrooms, the homeless, a statue of a policeman, flat tires, Sidekicks: The Best Movie Ever, du walen es spuit, bed stealing, and of course the holy Euro which is not as nearly inflated as the God-forsaken GBP.

Next weekend is Ireland, and I believe seeing some Irish music in an Irish pub drinking Irish beer with the Irish sounds like a good way to end my life, or at least forget the one I have got coming.

P.S. If you give any validity to any of the drug references in the previous yarn, you must obviously be a stoner yourself and have no clear grip on reality. The end of my existence is not enough reason for me to cloud my experiences with bong smoke and the moronic stupor of drunkenness, so give me some credit.

Current mood: high

I Have Disastrous News...

Each day I edge closer to the oblivion that is my end. Quite a sobering thought, though it keeps me on my toes. The doctors are still scrambling for a cure, and being their test subject has become extraordinarily tedious, but in the name of science and health, I push on.

Busy week this week. I saw Stonehenge, which was quite interesting. I went to Bath and wandered around a bit after our tour, only to discover the awesomest socks ever. I went to London on two separate occasions and can now say I've been to more museums in the past week than I have in my entire life previously. I also got to see a hotel room which costs £5,000 a night (about $10,000 for those who are math impaired) and Pink had just recently filmed a video in it. I saw an English movie for class, which means I have tomorrow off. I also got another class off near the end so I have a five-day weekend to abuse. I shaved finally. I spilled yoghurt on my fellow student Kelly's foot, which she will never let me forget. Today is pub quiz night and picnic day. I look forward to both immensely.

That is it, except for the fact that I'd like to ask my mom to stop calling me a jerk. It really hurts my feelings... :(

Current mood: quixotic

I Have Catastrophic News...

The doctors say my condition is irreversible, and well into its stages of maturity. It is only a matter of time before the inevitable occurs and I move into the land of the great beyond. This week I realized how much I take for granted, like me knee, and the ability to walk.

When they said I'd have wireless access in my classroom what they really meant was if I stand on my head in a pool of raisin oatmeal on the third Tuesday under a full moon, I'll get one bar of service. Those tricky Brits.

I've been busy the past week. My mates and I have been out in the pubs virtually every night and some of us show no signs of stopping. Last night was my host brother's birthday (28, oh how old!) and so I had some quality time with them, and decided they're a jolly bunch.

Classes should be very simple, and I look forward to having very little homework so I can go to some crazy-exotic trips for the weekends. What it looks like so far is; Norway, Denmark, Wales, Scotland, France, Greece, Amsterdam, Ireland, Germany, and of course many trips to London and around England. My only hope is that I somehow win the lottery (without even playing it) and can afford all these excursions without going into horrible debt, or selling my body on the street. I swore that one time was it, and I want to keep it that way.

Interesting trivia: we have class in a classroom that also has the most expensive piano in all of Oxford occupying it, which only a handful of people are allowed to play apparently. One of which is surely me. Don't you agree?

Circle One

Yes          No

     Maybe

If you message/post/deliver your address to me, there is a chance that I may even send you something back. So hop to it.

(My Address)

12, Heath Close
Oxford, England OX3-7NJ

Until next time, adios!

Current mood: drunk

I Have Dire News...

After three long days at the doctor's office I have been diagnosed with an incurable fatal disease. My days in this world are relatively short and thus I must live life to its fullest and take advantage of the opportunities that arise. I would like to thank you all for sharing your wonderful company with me and allowing me the pleasure of getting to know you.

In accordance with the wishes of my doctors they have instructed me to keep a diary on my final days, so as to leave something behind for those who choose to remember me when I am gone. I will try and spotlight the important events, though everything seems rather monumental now that I have discovered my fate. I hope you enjoy this intimate look into the life of a nigh-realized young man's last days, and ideally it will allow you to look inside yourself and realize how important your life really is as well.

I have walked about 30 km in the past three days, and my legs are feeling the burn. I met a girl who goes to school with Emma Watson (Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movies) and apparently she is a nice girl. I have upset my host family due to the unannounced fact of my vegetarianism, but they seem to be adjusting nicely. The son of the woman I am staying with is a professional football player who plays for the team 'Oxford United' and I plan on seeing a few games (for free!) and learning what all the fuss is about. After a feeble attempt to remember my PIN for my ATM card the machine decided to not give it back, and thus I am without cash and have been bumming money off my fellow students. I have been given a tour of the secret areas of Oxford, and I have decided it is one of the coolest cities I have ever been in. I watched 'Some Like it Hot' in the middle of a street with an entire neighborhood of English folk, one of whom also let me use their child's fold-up-chair-thing. I have been instructed on two separate occasions to send something back from America to various people (Triscuts and Lucky Charms if you are wondering). I have run out of time for being on the internet, and must check up with you all later.

Cheers!

Current mood: busy

I'm the Juggernaut BITCH!!!

Artistic beauties create dangerous encounters for geriatric house-guests, including jovial krauts; logistically, more now overact, presenting quandaries related slightly to utilitarian vacations, while xenophobes yield zilch.

current mood: accomplished

Eruption Stemming from IBS

The Caboodle's reign of terror on the fragile soil of our psyche has reached the limit of the population's tolerance. Something must be constroodled.

Slowly the shiny shinyness of their appealing clasp mechanism has drawn victims in to its grasp against their will, so that before a problem was diagnosed it has become irreveraboodled.

Each little compartment, just waiting to be filled with the necessities of a girls' night out in the neatly organized fashion of a fascist-communist dictator (who smokes and kills babies and also smokes around babies who he or she doesn't kill) is a portal to the awe-inspiring dimension of caboodledom.

Something must be constroodled.

I urge you fellow citizen, don't be wooed by the plethora of personalized colors and styles, follow your heart and resist the tempoodle.

Or else we'll all be destroodled.

current mood: confoodled

I Am Back...

...and kind of homeless.

Call me so I can get your number in my phone, people!

current mood: lost

Japan Ends

So, I am leaving Tokyo in a few short hours to come to Chicago and then dandy little Minnesota. I am in some form of shock at the moment and cannot quite describe how I feel.

In other news, my cell phone battery died, which has erased all my phone numbers, quotes, game high scores, etcetera. Now I must recharge it and rebuild everything from scratch, but I shall need your help in doing so. When I get back to my house and have a chance to charge it, I will need you to call me (at (952) 200-1049) and give me the opportunity to get everything entered into my crap-tacular phone again.

Also, my money has run out and—as such—capsules will be in shorter supply than expected when I return. This means that you coming to my welcome home party is much more important than it was previously, when capsules were abundant and cheery.

In other other news, my car has already been towed (in fact it was probably towed when I posted the message) and—as such—any attempts at stealing cars in my parking lot were useless and unrequired. Unless of course you stole my car from the tow-lot and saved me about $400... in which case you are awesome and I owe you my soul.

I am really a lot happier than I sound.

current mood: blank

From Your Future

Well, today we shall venture out into the heart of Tokyo and see The Exorcism of Emily Rose, as well as perhaps do some karaoke (we are not sure).

Yesterday, I went with Jess and volunteered preparing and handing out food for the homeless. Apparently I make rice balls so fast that we were done two hours early, a feat never accomplished before my addition to the crew. In celebration, a nice old Japanese lady took Jess and me out to dinner at a local bar/sushi restaurant. It was fun, but I am not sure if my stomach has really figured out how to digest sushi yet because I am already feeling a bit sick. *shrugs* Oh well.

The day before, I hung out with Peter, who is actually a pretty swell guy. We went to Akihabara (the actual 'Electric City') to get his laptop fixed and then just wandered. After our adventures there we continued to Aksaksa where I attempted to find a Kimono for a certain sibling, but was thwarted by the astronomical prices. I don't think it is going to happen, sis.

Also, I have now seen my first Japanese TV drama, and understood about 2% of it. This was mostly due to the fact that it was horribly confusing (and not that it was in Japanese). Jess and Alyssa have watched it since the beginning, only missing one episode last week, and even they did not really get it.

Among other things I also went on a shopping spree at the grocery store and found Koala Yummies, which I have eaten and enjoyed tremendously. If you're lucky maybe I'll even bring some back so y'all can try 'em out.

Well now, being as I have said quite enough for today, I think I shall be off. I only have six more days here and I cannot figure out where my time has gone. Have fun in the cold snowy 'sprinter' of Minnesota, as I enjoy the warm, sunny weather of little old Japan.

Peace!

current mood: nauseated

.

I taught English with Jess last night. The first bunch of kids (two tiny Japanese girls) were hellions until I stepped in and started running them through their silly flash cards. Following the learning, we played Bingo and it was delicious. Some super awkward Japanese Junior High students followed and I attempted to make small talk with folks who could not form a sentence more due to self-consciousness than not knowing how to speak. Then we played Uno and it was to die for.

Then this guy (whose name I do not remember) came over and made 'spiced wine' which is German (and exactly how it sounds). I promptly fell asleep and woke up at 10:00 AM this morning to find that Jess is going to hang out with her shy shy shy vague Japanese boy friend today and I am to keep myself busy with Peter, the awkward Aussie.

I have also read a bit of J.D. Salinger's book Nine Stories and realized that I love reading. I will continue to use it as a portable time waster that never gets old, until I am sick of it and want to start playing video games again or something.

On another note, Mom, you weirded me out hardcore with your last message and I hope you never do such a thing again, especially in front of my friends... ;)

l8r

P.S. My car is going to be towed from the apartment where I live because it snowed and I have the keys with me. If anyone has a shred of knowledge about stealing a car, please do so to mine so that I do not have to pay $10,000 when I return because they stored my car in a tow-lot for a week. Oh please, save me.

current mood: rejected

The Home Stretch

I have made it to the two thirds point of my trip. Only a week remains. As of late my updates have been a little less... 'coherent' (or 'sane') so I will try and keep things legit now.

Yesterday I saw Shane off to his train, which he would then be taking to his plane, of pain. Hopefully he made it all right and was not stopped in customs for the couple of kilos of coke I hid in his anus.

Now I am staying at my friend Jess's, which I think shall go splendidly. I have my own room and door and bed. We went shopping yesterday and then I had my first homemade Japanese meal (which despite the fact that it contained large amounts of vegetables, tofu, and more vegetables, I enjoyed it). Also, I met her roommate. Something which I forgot to try when Shane was here, but I assure you I will be bringing back loads of it, is Peanut Cream.

You see, they do not have the product known as 'peanut butter' in large supply at Japanese grocery stores. Instead, they have the odd-looking, but orgasmically delicious 'peanut cream'. Those of you that actually come to my 'Welcome Home Luke' party will perhaps even have a chance to sample the delectable delight that can only be described as heavenly.

As for the last few days: Shane and I left Kyoto for Beppu, which we left for Hiroshima, which we left for Osaka, and then came back to Tokyo for the plane and such. I will describe each city in one word.

Beppu: anticlimactic

Hiroshima: intense

Osaka: remeniscant

Of course my spelling is probably horribly whacked all through out my sentences, but I am pretty sure Osaka's word it way off. I do not feel the need to expend the effort to look it up, so just decode it and deal with it.

On another note, I am not sure what sort of updates you all should be looking out for, but I doubt they will be as regular as they have been in the past. Jess seems as though she has an idea of stuff for us to do and none of it includes sitting around in internet cafes wasting time. Well... actually sometimes it does. In any case, tonight I get to go and teach English with her and start making contacts for my eventual take-ove—I mean return. I quiver with antici—

antici—

antici—

antici—              pation.

Au revoir.

current mood: mellow

Korea: Day Three

As it turns out I did not go to Russia. I had only said I was going to Russia in order to throw off and further infuriate the Japanese authorities that had been after me for a reason I would rather not go in to right now (it may or may not have been about the decline in their hobo population). The funny thing is that they traced my IP and found me anyway, sending hordes of ninja assassins to end my reign of terror. I thought to myself, don't ninjas climb on the ceiling?

Immediately, I knew I was wrong. They do not climb on the ceiling, they sneak and kill on the ceiling. Using my newfound knowledge and my S.O.C.K. (Sneak on Ceiling and Kill) abilities, I dispatched over four hundred paid professionals, as well as an unfortunate man who did not have a home. Russia then decided that the ruckus I was causing was of great benefit to their country and so they paid off my bounty and sent me here, to an internet cafe in Korea.

I also just drank an entire glass of Minute Maid Grapefruit Juice thinking it was Orange Juice. I am extremely disappointed.

Though babbling on for a few more hours sounds like fun, time is money and money is finite. I must depart for greener pastures, shortly. Adieu and Sayonara.

current mood: creative

Russia: Day One

So, I decided to go to Russia instead of finishing my trip in Japan. Good idea, eh?

In other news: I was carrying a broken umbrella around because it was barely raining and I did not feel like using anything until I saw said umbrella carelessly tossed into the street, when a policeman assaulted me and replaced my broken covering-device with two new ones. How nice this country is!

I also have done the only thing that Sonia says that I should not do on a trip (and I have no regrets). :P

If you have not already told me what you want from Japan (or even if you have) please comment and let me know. I have procured some miscellaneous bits of Japanese culture to smuggle back home, but I need more ideas. Go-go-gadget BLOG!!! I also may have killed a hobo.

Have a nice day!

current mood: hyper

The Return

Despite Shane's attempts otherwise, I am alive and safe after a harrowing night on windy Japanese mountain roads. At the moment I am sitting in the lobby of my Ryokan (traditional Japanese Inn), awaiting 7:00 PM at which time I am going to be served some sort of traditional dinner I may gag down.

Today was another slower day, but these things have happened recently that have not been discussed: Shane almost smashed into a motorcyclist; Shane almost smashed into a car; Shane almost smashed into the guard rail bordering the tiny road; Shane smashed into a curb (well okay... not "smashed"... but he did scrape it); Shane got hopelessly lost and was saved by Luke's exquisite sense of direction; Shane got totally drunk out of his mind and spent a bit too much money; Shane got lost two blocks from where we were staying and wandered around like a deer in headlights for about fifteen minutes; Shane drank a bottle of extremely chlorinated city water and got sick; Shane spanked me; Shane watched me kill a hobo; Shane is constantly in tune with his temperature and feels obligated to inform me of any changes whatsoever; Shane blew out his second knee (of two) and is currently in pain; Shane packed a bag that is twice the size of mine (half the size of ME) and cannot seem to figure out how to make it not dig into his neck, thus resulting in a constant update about how his neck is feeling (bad or worse, mostly terrible); and Shane thinks the universe loves him as much as it loves me (which it does not).

I think this entry will be subtitled "The Many Faces of My Traveling Partner: Complaining or Uncomfortable."

Talk to you in a day or so.

current mood: hungry

Into Infinity

I get the feeling that I am missing something. For the past six days I have a constant nagging... something... that I can not possibly put into words. I have only been here less than a third of my trip and I already have mostly passed the "tourist" stage and gone into some sort of other state that I am not sure how to cope with.

Today Shane and I drove around in our rented car and tonight we are going to head off onto some mountain road and either drive off a cliff (or sleep for the night). We continue to take pictures at all possible junctures and those of you with Facebook accounts can view them in my "Japan" album. Those of you who are not on Facebook will have to just deal with the gem I uploaded as my current profile picture.

I am sad that I do not speak Japanese at all enough to communicate in any way other than crude gestures and mostly not-understood English. I get the feeling that I am more in a "living in Japan" mode and as such want to get out there and actually meet people, which is harder to do without a common form of communication.

In any case, I believe this is probably my first real "blogish" type entry and as such I will leave you with some sort of quote or something.

"It is not the technique, it is the heart." - the guy that tried to coach my unsuccessful carp fishing attempts, whose name I've forgotten...

current mood: blah

Star Date: WTF?

I do not know if you can see my videos, but I am attempting to upload one that Shane made so you all can watch it.

On another note, I forgot to mention that I went carp fishing yesterday; that was a fun time. Today was more laid back and I am not really in the mood to write anything... but I am in Kyoto now, so, "go me!" as they say.

Toodles.

current mood: contemplative

Day IV

Describing today in one word: jingo!

I do not even know where to start. I: went to the fish market again and tried squid; walked down Ginza strip when there were cars present and did not recognize it; spent most of the day with two really rad New Zealand mates; attempted to go to the Imperial Palace East Garden but was thwarted by my not reading ahead and knowing it is closed on Mondays (and Fridays... but that does not apply to our story); ate a waffle cone ice cream sandwich; went to the Sony building only to find my sole purpose of going there (video games) was moved to an entirely separate building far, far away; went to 'Electric Town' (finally) and discovered it consisted mainly of lots and lots of strip clubs and/or nudie shows (perhaps it was not 'Electric Town' after all); went to the biggest electronics store I have ever seen and was essentially tempted by nothing; royally pissed off the nice old Japanese man working behind the counter at the Youth Hostel we've been staying; killed a hobo; ate dinner at a 'pasta' place, which had an old west motif and played reggae music; was assaulted by a drunken Japanese film director in said eating establishment; switched residence to a Capsule Hotel, which has convinced me to become drunken Japanese businessman so I can stay at one every night; and said goodbye to my new friends in Tokyo, for tomorrow I head on out to Kyoto!

Seriously, capsule hotels rule!

current mood: rejuvenated

Day 3

Today was a good day.

I: rode in a human-pulled cart (forgot what they are called); got a free massage from a deluxe Japan model (chair); bought my first souvenirs; went to the Tokyo National Museum; enjoyed disaster awareness day at the park; got some free food from a nice old lady, who only knew four or five words in English yet still felt the need to tell me about her son (or daughter... I could not really tell because she kept changing references) and her new cell phone; found out what the souvenir I bought earlier is actually used for (a cell phone dangly thingee); saw some Shinto temples and had my fortune told by a stick; bathed in incense for good luck; tried yet again to go to 'Electric Town' but was thwarted by a bad sense of direction; watched Shane attempt to pick up a Japanese girl (who is convinced he would have succeeded if she did not already have a boyfriend); discovered that they eat 'Corn Mayo Pizza' (and apparently like it); took a shower for the first time (in Japan); got annoyed at Shane for his crappy Japanese, which he thinks is pretty good even though he cannot get across basic phrases (though I do not really know if I can do it either); killed a hobo; was totally confounded when I received my lunch (because apparently you light the pan underneath on fire to keep it warm), and, finally, I touched a raccoon for good luck with money.

current mood: clean

Day Two

Wow. That is what I have to say about today. Wow.

In not-so-chronological order: I woke up at 6:00 AM; went to the fish market and saw the craziness; ate sushi at a sit-down traditional sushi restaurant; rode the subway for the first time ever; became The Pigeon King at the park; saw Peppi the Clown do a silly performance; played some form of leap frog with a team of Japanese baseball players; went to a Buddhist temple and prayed; went to Ginza Strip where the fashionably hip hang out; bought a donut thing which apparently had delicious fruit filling; killed a hobo; saw the eternal atomic bomb flame memorial; almost got smashed by weird truck/tractor/wagon-type vehicles (multiple times); sampled various sushi dishes along the street which may or may not have been actual samples; played with Barbies and Legos in the middle of the street; shot so many pictures that the camera died and we could not shoot the last portion of our trek; saw a homeless person gathering where they all sat in orderly lines and got bananas and other food; ate ice cream for breakfast; sat by as my party members drank beer in the street at noon; discovered a secret stash of alcohol at a local coffee shop; played on a Japanese playground; and went on the one final excursion, which can only be described as "holy-crap-what-the-heck-just-happened?" (please inquire for more details once I am home, as the story would take too much time to type... and I am not sure I want to relive it just yet...).

All-in-all, I'd say it was a fan-freaking-tacular day. Also, I do not think I am ever coming home.

current mood: uncomfortable

Day One

So... I am in Japan. How is that going for me, you ask? Freaking awesome. So far I have: embarrassed myself in front of countless crazy Japanese people; eaten some noodles that I ordered from a vending machine; had my first awkward conversation with a Japanese person who was speaking English; had the best seats in the whole plane (twice!); was lost in Tokyo; almost was run over; tried to crush a can of hot coffee from a vending machine and failed; got hopelessly confused during a customs fiasco; rented a mobile phone for keeping in touch with said crazy Japanese people; realized that I maybe should have bought and brought a warmer coat; killed a hobo; watched Thunderball (the best Sean Connery James Bond movie in the entire universe); and also thought I lost my wallet, passport, money, and everything else (that I would be screwed if I actually lost) on multiple separate occasions. I would say it is going well. Tune in next time! Same bat time! Same bat channel!

current mood: accomplished

Oh Snap!

current mood: indescribable

Blog City, Population: Me

Life is so hard. Nothing ever goes right. My mom took away my credit card and my dad beats me. Well, mental beatings, anyway. Like that time he said he was "disappointed" in me after I got felt up under the bleachers by Jimmy, who said that he "loved" me but then later on I heard that he told Susie Johnson the same thing and then felt her up on the swirly slide on the playground behind the Elementary School. So, anyway, my dad is an asshole. I hope that I can get married soon and start my career as an advertising executive and then raise my two kids to be awesome. I'm going to be a way better parent then Mrs. Drinky-drinky and Mr. Why-Didn't-I-Marry-My-Secretary? (Who-Is-Only-Two-Years-Older-Than-My-Daugher). Creepy, huh? So, anyway, I'm going to go snort some cocaine and descend into a psychedelic world called Toon Town where I meet Vikings and Robots and we play Sorry all night long. Tah tah!

current mood: apathetic