(This interview was administered on 25 June, 2007 [now-time])
Luke: Welcome back dear readers! We have a special treat for you today because it just so happens that we have delved into the deeply paradoxical, complicated land of time-travel! Well, not today exactly. More like about two months ago. One week after I returned from Costa Rica actually. I am here today (two months ago) talking to--well--myself.
Luke: How did you get in here? Who are you? Why are you talking to yourself?
Luke: Ooh, this is going to be difficult. Being that we both have the same name I am going to have to think of different ways to determine who is talking at what time. How about I be "Luke [present]", and you be "Luke [past]"?
Luke [past]: How about not you crazy person! I know I certainly would not let my beard grow to such tremendous proportions, especially when it looks so ugly. Besides, why do you get to be "Luke [present]" when, clearly, I am from the present and—supposedly—you are from the future. You should be "Luke [future]"!
Luke [future]: Well, obviously our interviewee does not really understand the complexities of time-travel; perhaps "Luke [dumb]" would be more appropriate...
Luke [dumb]: Why you son-of-a-
Luke [present]: Hey now! There are children that might be watching.
Luke [dumb]: Seriously! I am not going to tolerate this! Either I am "Luke [the-best-Luke-in-the-time-stream]" or I will not participate in this interview.
Luke [the-real-one]: Sure. Fine then. We should get this started because we have already wasted enough time.
Luke [the-blurst-Luke-in-the-time-stream]: Whatever. Ask me some--hey! "Blurst"?
Luke [the-real-one]: Oops! Sorry, honest mistake.
Luke [the-best-Luke-in-the-time-stream]*: Suuure. I hate you.
Luke [the-real-one]: On with the questions! So, how does it feel to be back in the United States?
Luke [the-best-luke-in-the-time-stream]: Well, I am unemployed, cold, and I have no money. So... kind of sad.
Luke [the-real-one]: I see. Well, at the risk of destroying the universe, I will go ahead and tell you that you will get a job at Galactic Pizza and everything will be super soon enough. Oh, and have fun in Texas too!
Luke [the-best-Luke-in-the-time-streem]: Oh? Sweet! So I actually go to Texas? How is-I mean...uhh... was it?
Luke [the-real-one]: Who is doing the interview here? Me. Maybe I will let you in on what happens later, but for now, my next question: now that you are back, what are you plans?
Luke [the-best-Luke-in-thee-time-stream]: Well... I am going to sit around and do nothing. Apparently I get I a job and I do not have to worry about anything, right? Why would I apply anywhere but Galactic Pizza?
Luke [the-real?-one]: Hrm... that is not good. Perhaps I should not have told you about your future. If you change what I did, then maybe it will not happen the same way... which would be bad.
Derek [the-best-Derek-in-the-time-stream]: ...or will it? or would it have been? Wow, time-travel is confusing.
Luke [th3-r3al???-on3]: Uh oh, it is also dangerous! I can already see the universe collapsing around us because you changed—will change—history!
Frtrl {yjr+nrdy+Frtrl+om+yjr+yozr+dytrsz}; Frst Hpf? Ejsy od hpomh pm!
Luke ??? [+43=r3al???=0\/\3]: Well, that is it for today folks! I hope you still exist and I can get this all sorted out before lunch. I am hungry!
??? [???]: ???
Luke: Bye!
*Not really
