How Do You Say "Free Cookies" in Arabic?

Splendiferous times abound. In reverse chronological order.

I haven't had an ID for about a month (I lost it in Lebanon) and no one cared. Sweet, I think to myself, I won't have to pay the 100 pound fee to get a new one! Wrong. Today the security guards standing at the bus entrance said, "No, you can't come in," and I'm like, "Okaaaay... What should I do then?" "Go walk around to the main entrance." So I do. Fifteen minutes later (it's a long walk) I make it inside. "Where can I get a new ID card?" I ask. The library. Okay, but wait a minute, you can't get in the library without an ID card!? They shrug. I go to the library. I argue my way in. Where is the ID Center? Downstairs. I go downstairs. Turn here, straight there, lost. Where is the ID Center? Upstairs. Upstairs? Are you sure? Okay, whatever you say. I go upstairs. Somehow I'm not in the library any more. Once again, where is the ID Center? In the library. I go to the library. Hello, remember me? I go downstairs. Oh, I see, it's over behind every single bookshelf, in the back of the basement. I can't believe I couldn't find it before, when it's so obvious that it was here the whole time. Hello there, I'd like an ID. Yes, please charge 100 pounds to my account, because I have no money because I was robbed last night. Oh? I have to go upstairs to get a stamp on a piece of paper? Okay. I go upstairs. My knee hurts. Hi there, stamp please, thanks. I go downstairs. Hello again. ID! I win!

Last night, we went costume/clothes shopping. We met at seven o'clock. By the time we left, it was eight. We got some food, and then went to a shop that supposedly had costumes. Nope, just creepy dolls. Next shop that supposedly had costumes. Nope, just a display with clown wigs. Next shop that supposedly had costumes. Yes!? Buuut, no, only costumes for children. Across the bridge we go! Under the other side of the bridge, we enter Used Clothing Town. What wonderful pants! Why don't I try them on! Here, hold my other pants. Nope, don't fit. Sad times. I get my normal pants back, put them on. Hey, neat sweater! I try it on, it fits! I'll take it. Wait... maybe I won't. Because I don't have any money anymore. Hey, Egyptian dude? I had money in this pocket, now I do not. What gives? Another guy laughs hysterically. No, it is unnecessary for you to put your hands in my pockets to find the money, I've already checked. Oh, I see, you're going to do it anyway... and grab my butt. Nice. Okay, you can take your hand out now; it is clear the money isn't there. Thanks. So where's my money? The guy doubles over laughing. Sigh. I can't buy this sweater because someone stole my money, so, uh... bye. We move on. At another place I buy snakeskin pants and a snakeskin-like shirt. I'm going to be a snake for Halloween. We continue on. Andy buys a vest like Aladdin, and some puffy pants. I buy a scarf. I'm tired, time to go to Christianna's (it is her birthday today, or tomorrow last night). We do. Sleep.

The night before last I played rugby. Andy says, "Hey, wanna join the rugby team?" "Do I?!?" Pause. "Ummm... do you?" "Of course, you silly man!" We go. I have no cleats, so I wear my black boots, with no socks, because I forgot to ask Andy to bring them. The coach says, "Go play!" Ummm... I've never played before... but alright. Touch rugby. Drills. More Drills. Break. Drills. Tackle rugby. No one really ever gives me a position or purpose, so I just try it all. I'm not the worst, but I'm not good. The rest of the team kind of stinks too. Afterward, my knee hurts, I'm sore, I have blisters on my feet, and I feel like I could puke and eat a horse. Probably not at the same time. These pains will continue for the next few days, minimum. But, I'm on the team, I guess.

The day that had the night that I played rugby, AUC and Delicious, Inc. gave away cookies. Tangent: Delicious, Inc. is the company that AUC has awarded exclusive rights to sell food on the new campus. Being that New Cairo is not within a reasonable distance of any sort of civilization, they have quite a monopoly. Eventually the students protested (not literally) and got a few student run stands, so everything got a little better. However, in order to buy our love, they apparently decided to give out cookies. It worked. Back to the story: Chelsea and I get a cookie each, and she grabs another, "for a friend". Best. Cookies. EvAR. I get another one. Still great. We walk to the library. Oh, another stand? Don't mind if we do. Getting a little sick to my stomach, but that is the price you pay for The Best Cookies EvAR. I get to class. My teacher says (in Arabic), "you missed the opportunity of a lifetime!" What? Oh, you mean the cookies. I ate three. And here are some more. Yum. The end.

That's it. Khalas. My writing style in this post is dramatically different than I'm used to writing. I'm not sure why. Opinions?