There is a certain class of edible substances that, when subjected to intense heat, tend to retain their temperatures for deceptively long periods of time while then drastically cooling down in the blink of an eye. This phenomenon causes those who brave the tumultuous realms of preparing these foodstuffs to—in the case of the former—burn the roof of their mouth and possibly look ridiculous spitting bits of near boiling, half-chewed mush all over themselves, and/or—as in the latter situation—be forced to eat a luke-warm sludge whose taste somehow is only a shadow of its potential (if it were to be consumed in that precarious threshold between too hot and too cold), or, far more masochistically, heat it up and begin the cycle once more.
Some items that fall into this category:
- oatmeal
- hot chocolate
- cheap frozen pizza (more specifically, cheap frozen pizza sauce)
- Hot Pockets
- lasagna
Strangely enough, most of these things are essential to my diet, leading me to believe that I'm either a) an impatient idiot who can't determine when food is safe to eat, or b) into self-inflicted pain.
I guess maybe it's both.
1 comment:
I enjoyed your post.
Some helpful methods:
I) Regulate heat loss
i) contain the food by putting a bowl over it if its on a plate, or a plate over it if its in a bowl, so that it cools slower and more evenly, widening time frame of when its ideal to eat.
ii) If its amorphous like oatmeal, spread it up against the walls to maximize surface area while its cooling, or give it more stirring. When it gets close to the right temperature, stir it back into a big blob so that its temperature loss slows.
II) Improve how you monitor food
i) Get an egg timer, or a sand timer. I know, its nuts, but think how much it sucks when you burn your tongue and then it feels burnt all day long. Ulgh.
ii) Never drink any beverage if you can't hold the mug without using the handle.
*) Makes sense: if its too hat for your hand, its going to be much too hot for your mouth.
**) Credit to Jon, who developed this method.
-Andrew R Gross
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