Teach Yourself Arabic: Lesson Wahid

Well, I'm here.

I arrived in Cairo yesterday, which was a day earlier than I had thought was going to be the case. The flurry of events since I left my ride outside the airport is still fresh in my mind, and, because I am so nice, I will recount them for you in a complete and condescending manner, as I am known to do.

Getting my tickets and checking my bags proved to be as simple as could be, especially because I had wisely chosen to add a second checked bag to spread out my goods so that they wouldn't go over the 50 lb. limit. Security let me through without incident (ha, joke's on them!), and I read the fifth Harry Potter book as I waited for boarding and take-off. I had nuts on the plane.

My stay in Chicago was very short, as the line for the next leg of my journey had already begun, and boarding started shortly thereafter. On the plane, I met a nice young man who introduced himself as Andy. He told me he also was an AUC student (which I could tell by his Lonely Planet Egypt book), and we became fast friends. I slept very little, but I: read more Harry Potter, drank some apple juice, orange juice, and water, watched 21 and Drillbit Taylor (both terrible movies), ate the Indian vegetarian meal option, learned about Egyptian history, talked to Andy, and waved at the cutest baby ever. After about eight hours, we landed in Frankfurt.

Once I got through a second bout of security (slightly less smooth), the wait in Germany was also pleasantly brief. After boarding I found Andy sitting right behind me, but we didn't talk any this time. A few other AUC students were clearly visible from my middle-aisle seat, but the windows were not. I: read, slept through the meal, used the airplane bathroom, and waved at another (less cute) baby. We arrived in Cairo around 2:00 PM local time (6:00 AM CST).

It was hot. I followed my fellow students to customs, buying a visa for $15 before I went through (who knew it would be so easy to get into Egypt?). We grabbed our bags, followed our one-toothed guide, and boarded the shuttle to our dorms. The drive was crazy, being that the traffic laws in Egypt don't seem to be... well... there don't seem to be any. After our half-quiet, half-talkative jaunt, I compiled the following (incomplete) list for those who want to learn more about speaking Arabic.

The Many Translations of Arabic Horn Use

• Hey!
• You're drifting into my lane!
• I'm going to cut you off now!
• You're cutting me off, &%*#er!
• Hey! (angry)
• Get out of the road, pedestrian!
• I'm going to hit you if you don't speed up!
• Hey! (surprised)
• Oops, my hand slipped!
• I'm not honking at you, I'm honking about my frustration with the imperialism of the western world, and the way the developing world get the short end of the stick in every transaction, and also, my feet hurt!
• There is no one around me, so no one but the people in my car can hear this, but it's fun, so I'll do it anyway!
• Hey! (who knows?)
• You've stopped in the middle of the road for no reason!
• I might clip you, pedestrian, so watch out!
• Coming through!
• Look ma, no hands!
• Hey hey! (Krusty-style)
• You clearly have made your own lane between the other two, and I'd like to express my appreciation of your creative driving!
• I'm running this red light!
• !yeH (backwards)
• ...
• I like to show off my musical skills, but have no other instrument!
• (and many more...)

We got to the dorms and unloaded our bags, but then were told we'd have to find somewhere else to stay because the rooms weren't ready. Andy and I found an Internet cafe and booked a $6.50 per person, per night hostel near downtown. We negotiated cab fare and then were steered towards the cab driver's brother, who drove a regular car (not a cab). We spent the next 45 minutes driving around Emad El-din St. looking for the place, and eventually decided to just hoof it and see if we would have better luck on foot. We walked around the block, studying my hand-drawn map very carefully, noting that it was different from the Lonely Planet map, which was also different from how the streets were actually laid out.

A nice man stopped and offered to help, and after taking us through the streets (while we still carried all our bags) to another Internet cafe—so he could check the address—we were guided to our final destination quite nicely. He introduced himself as Ashraf, and then after helping us confirm our room (which hadn't gone through yet, being as it was done only a few hours before, over the web), he offered to meet us for dinner later.

We showered and rested, and then went outside on the street to wait for our new friend. After about a half hour, I went back through the alley and upstairs to our hostel, finding that we had crossed paths and Ashraf was actually upstairs waiting for us. We laughed a bit, and then loaded into his car. We went to the extreme opposite end of Cairo for some authentic Egyptian food, learning a good deal about Egyptian history in the process. For instance, the street names (like 26 July St.) were all named after important dates in the past (like the declaration of the republic, in 1952).

The food was plentiful and cheap ($10 for three people stuffed to the brim), and afterward we talked for a while about stuff. After we were driven back to the hostel, we went to our room and I read more Harry Potter. I think I also went on the Intarweb, but we can't be sure.

It is now 2:43 AM, and in an effort to regularize my sleep schedule, I must attempt to doze. I'll continue the rest of my story tomorrow, maybe. Let me tell you, it just keeps getting better. Until next time!