Perfectly Perilous Pirate Party Presented By Persons Preaching Peace

United We Stand on a Solid Ground to Instigate Unprecedented Prospects with Experience

Greece, the final chapter: Our Santorini to Athens ferry was canceled without anyone informing us, but luckily some friends of ours tried to buy passage on the same boat and discovered this unfortunate news. Sam and I scrambled to get our refunds so that we could afford to buy new tickets for a different ferry (we were down to about €7.25 at that point) and then played cards all night with three Canadians. In Athens we avoided the cold by sitting in the entryway to the hostel we had previously stayed at, then went and got breakfast with the previously mentioned Canucks, then went to the airport using the previously mentioned last bits of money we had. A hop, skip, and jump away and we were back in the suffocating smog and heat of Cairo. I love it!

Back in Egypt: School's oppressive oppressiveness has returned with a vengence. I still haven't written my midterm (and I'm beginning to think I never will). Nobody does their homework in my Arabic class and our teacher keeps threatening to get someone else to teach it. I've got a presentation next week on my volunteering and it's relation to development theory, two three 15 page papers to write on topics I have yet to decide or research, an Arabic final that covers material from a book I don't own, etc. I'm not worried!

A Scottish guy I met in Greece, Graeme, is currently sleeping on my couch because I invited him down for the Pirate Party (which hasn't happened yet, but the next entry should have pictures and a rundown of the awesomeness) and he actually booked a plane and showed up. Nathaniel's aunt and cousin are also staying at the houseboat for a short while during their visit. Also, another friend, Jon, who had to vacate his apartment a bit earlier than the end of the semester has joined the club. That makes seven people in a two bedroom place. No big deal!

Wait a minute? Didn't I already do something like this back in 2005? Who'd have thought I'd be reliving that period in my life all over again?!

Anywho, last night we had a wonderful dinner where our old neighbor Khaldun, plus our new neighbors Jean and Clements, plus all the people staying at our houseboat, plus a few extras cooked vegetables and pasta and beer (well, we didn't cook the beer, but it was there). My pasta sauce was a hit, which is nice. I'm getting better at cooking, mumkin?!

The night before last was the opening performance of Dido and Æneas, an opera that AUC is putting on (the first ever, apparently), featuring my friend David and Kim as Æneas and a seriously wacky witch-lady respectively. It was my first opera, though probably not the last. I kind of liked it!

One of my English students gave me a liter of full cream milk as a present. Thanks?!

Jennifer is coming on 17 May. She'll be here for about three weeks, during which we plan on touring various places in Egypt, doing the Gaza volunteering thing, and visiting Jordan. After she leaves I'm going to be completely out of money, so I'll probably become a couch surfer again and see what I can see with what I can squeeze out of family and friends, killing time until my flight to Munich at the end of June, where I will then do the same until my final flight home on the 19 August. Two days short of a year abroad!

Time sure flies by fast, eh? or was it time's fun when you're having flies? I don't remember!

That's all I've got for now. Bye!

Rain, Rain, Go Away; Famous Last Words

Hi.

How are you?

I am fine.

I'm currently sitting at a computer on the wonderful Greek island of Santorini, waiting for the sun to warm up the slightly-too-cold air so I can go lay on the beach.

It's been a while, I know... but I can explain.

See, I've been busy. I had this midterm I was supposed to write that I didn't even write because I was so busy.

Ummm... what was I busy doing?

That's not important. What is important is that I'm here now and updating you on my superbly glamorous lifestyle... right?

Anywho.

Wolf's friend Steph who is studying in Madrid came to town, so we showed her a good time around the way. We went to Lucille's, who allegedly serves the best burger in the entire world, so says Time magazine. I ate one. Well, half of one. It was okay, but I think not having eaten meat in almost three years kind of left me no frame of reference for comparison, so my opinion on the matter is kind of moot. Also, I ate a delicious offering of the breakfast triumverate (pancakes, waffles, french toast), which left me so full I couldn't eat for at least two days.... or a couple hours anyway.

We also colored some eggs for Easter and then went to Dahab and did a desert safari where we climbed the mountains and I broke one of Nathaniel's sandals that I was using without his permission. The good news is that I broke the left one, which complimented nicely my unbroken left one (whose right one I had broken earlier, in Wadi Digla, where we had a picnic I don't think I ever mentioned), so that now I wear two unmatching sandals, one of which is slightly lower than the other, forever giving me back pains and headaches... but not really.

About spring break: so, remember when I said I was going to Morrocco? Well, I did say that, even if you don't remember. Well, then remember how I said I was going to Tunisia? Well, once again, I did. Well, as it turns out, my credit card wasn't working on the Egypt Air website so I couldn't buy the tickets in time so they skyrocketed in price and I was left with no plans for spring break.

Enter http://www.kayak.com, which allowed me to search around for places I might like to go from Cairo for under $300. I found three options: Spain, Turkey, and Greece. I asked my travel partner Sam, which he'd like to go to, to which he replied: "I don't know." I prodded him a bit more and got him to pick one, which ended up being Greece. So, here we are.

Sort of. I went and bought the tickets (after some ridiculous nonsense about me not being able to use my card in person either, then I could only buy one ticket, then I could buy both and it was all good) and then we left the next day.

We tried to couch surf, but being as it was Easter in Greece [Wait, two Easters? "How can this be?" you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked: Greece uses the Russian Orthodox dates for Easter, which, except for once every four years or so, end up being a bit later than "normal" easter... so... yeah... it was Easter two weekends in a row for me.... woot], everyone was busy with family stuff and we weren't able to get any free accomodation. We stayed in a hostel in Athens for a few days (doing an island cruise, seeing the Acropolis and the rest of the ancient ruins, doing hand stands for free food) before heading up to Meteora with our newfound friend Ash, the Aussie.

We climbed and hiked around for hours (me in only my sandals, because they're the only shoes I brought, which probably wasn't the best idea), saw turtles having sex, slept on a bench, and celebrated another Easter. Back to Athens we went, before catching a ferry to Santorini, where we've been relaxing for three days now. Yesterday we rented quads and zoomed about the island, annoying locals and watching our friend James flip his for the third day in a row. Ouch.

It's obnoxiously windy right now and there are a few too many clouds out for my taste, which is why I sit here blathering on about the things that I am blathering on about. I've reached the end of my thread though, so I'll leave you with the promise of two things once I return to Cario: pictures of the houseboat, as well as pictures of our Pirate party on the houseboat (perhaps both at the same time?) we'll be having in a week. Pirate costumes, pirated music, perhaps even a showdown with the infamous pirate "No Beard". Be excited.

Also, my iPhone is still broken and Sam didn't bring a camera so there are no pictures of Greece. Sorry.

Is Someone in the Fridge?; It's Okay, We're Regular Twins

omgzr, it's, like, almost April? I still haven't done my taxes or thought of my New Year's resolutions or anything. Where does the time go?

Funny you should ask:

• the Cairo Jazz Festival, where Kim made friends with kitties and Fathy Salama, who will now be featuring her in a performance about a week from now
• the birthday party, for our neighbor Patrick, where we surprised him with cake and people whom he didn't know
• the unbirthday party, which started on the houseboat but was eventually relocated to Jon's apartment (after a few hours of trying to get people moving), where I was greeted with chocolate cake and a poker game
• the poker night, inspired by the above, where I split the pot with Andy, the couch surfer
• the six days where I hosted Andy, the couch surfer, who is from Australia and who is also doing an around the world trip for a year (or two)
• the four days (some of which overlap with the above) where I hosted Ruth and Leo, the Germans (though she is actually from Vienna), who were finishing up their jaunt around the Middle East
• the three hours per week spent volunteering in Ain Shams (which is an hour's travel one way) where Sarah and I "teach" English (we mostly just hang out) to people from places like Chad, the Ivory Coast, Iraq, and Ethiopia
• the attempted chess game with backgammon pieces, which lasted only about six moves before everyone was thoroughly confused to the point of despair
• the twelve hour LAN party which ended in frustration and dashed expectations
• the party where Kim bought a rubaba (an ancient pharoahonic instrument, which looks like what a violin would have been if it were made with a stick, some wires, and a coconut shell) and scheduled practice sessions on my deck
• the aforementioned practice session on my deck, which was actually quite nice, despite the high pitched, screechy nature of the rubaba's "music"
• the frequent breakfast/brunches where I cook for all my friends and we eat on my deck, enjoying the Nile and all it's trash-filled goodness
• the Indian food night where we ordered Indian food, watched Flight of the Conchords, and danced naked in the street (well, maybe only I did the last part)
• the 3,000 piece puzzle Kim and I bought, which still sits mostly in its box (except for the edges) because my table is too small for it
• the unfortunate incident where I woke up one morning to find my iPhone's screen to be cracked, ensuring that the bottom half no longer detects any touches (it now serves as an iPod with not very much space that only plays songs via shuffle and as an instrument for me to read people's texts with no hope of returning them [sadly this also means that I shall not be uploading any more pictures {at least until/if I get it fixed}])
• the class presentation which required me to read a 400 page book and condense everything worth knowing about it into three hours (though, luckily, my teacher likes to talk and thusly did most of my work for me)
• the presentation on X-Files that I didn't prepare for except to find humorous pictures, like Mulder and Scully in an awkward romantic pose, Weekly World News covers, and Chris Carter making a funny face
• the one or two hours I slept
• the past two days we've spent without water in the houseboat, thinking that it was just another quirky quirk of life on the Nile, only to discover that someone had turned off our water in an attempt to turn off the toilet
• the blog writing

Anyway, I think that'll do for now. I was this close to getting the really good pictures of the houseboat on my computer, but I fell asleep instead. Next time, mumkin.

We Will Win in the End, Ciao!; Severed Phallus of an African-American

I've been guilted into writing another entry. You should know that I'm doing this instead of homework. Feel special.

So, last night we had a party at the 'awama (houseboat). We bought a giant tub of white acrylic paint and some little color tubes (one for every color of the rainbow, plus brown and black) with which we (we being Wolf, Nathaniel, and I, plus all our friends) decorated the walls. Everyone who came left something behind, such as: a tree, a squirrel smoking shisha in the tree, a pastel butterfly, purple pyramids, car emblems, a Koi yin-yang, or a Mayan space pirate. As soon as I get the pictures off of Kim's camera I will share them with all of you.

I painted a robot.

We also played Mafia until five in the morning. I watched the sunrise. It was nice, because, hey, I live on the Nile.

I will never get tired of saying that.

There was another party two weeks ago. A lot more people came to that one, but there was also a knife fight, so it kind of evens out. We tried to gather all the glass bottles of beer and bring them in for the deposit (like a friend did last semester, getting some pretty nice returns for the effort), but they told us that the bottles we had were not the two-way ones. Lame.

Since we've moved in the slant of the structure has leveled out (it was pretty dramatically tilted due to the Nile's water level being lower than normal), however, there are still plenty of boats that drive by, shaking our house at its very 'foundations' (read: pontoons). It's a two bedroom place, but we have three people living here. This entails one of us sleeping on the couch in the living room. Usually it isn't an issue because we either sleep at someone else's house, are too tired to care, or just cram into the bed together anyway. Other than the occasional quirk (an overflowing toilet tank which has to be monitored closely, a very clog-prone sink, constantly moving the clothes washer between the kitchen and the bathroom, stray cats), I would say this place is perfect. In fact, most of the previously mentioned quirks only serve to make living here more interesting, so I'll go ahead and say it is perfect.

Classes are going fineish. I told myself I'd do my work this semester, and I'm still telling myself that in the hopes that it comes true, but apparently you actually have to do the work, not just say that you should do it. Sounds familiar, I know.

I went to Marsa Alam with Amr (the guy who was supposed to go to India with me, but got delayed and ended up traveling on his own), Kim, Mohamed (Amr's brother), and various others. We dived in the Red Sea (Kim for the first time) and saw lots of really awesome undersea creatures, including: giant sea turtles (seriously! some of them were as big as refrigerators, with Remoras hanging off them and everything), crocodile fish(?), sand calamari(?), Bluespotted stingray, and Parrotfish and triggerfish of various varieties. There were supposedly Dugong (not Dewgong, the Pokémon) swimming around somewhere, but we couldn't find them. Bastards.

After our freezing underwater adventure, we trekked into the desert to Wadi El Gamal (valley of the beautiful; beautiful valley) which is a national reserve run by Amr's uncle. He set us up with desert huts like those built by the indigenous nomadic tribes. Then we took a camel 'safari' into the 'desert' and watched while Hamad, AKA Superman, threw rocks so fast that you could hear them buzz like a whistle. Also, we ate bread cooked in the sand, drank gibana (coffee that must be drunk in odd numbers), and camel cheese. My camel tried to kill me on multiple occasions, but what else is new?

I've also: celebrated Kim's birthday with [no sleep and] an early morning jaunt to the pyramids for the sunrise, acted as an extra in an Egyptian director's move (Moondog, and apparently it is going to be at the Cannes Film Festival?), gone on a picnic in the desert near Cairo, finished all the easy parts of a puzzle, played Double Dragon, honed my cooking skills, taken a shower, saw a performance put on by deaf actors for children, made people uncomfortable, etc.

Time is going by quickly. I start my English teaching tomorrow in the supposedly "ghetto" area of Cairo, which should be interesting. Midterms are coming up, allegedly, but I don't know if I have one. I'm planning on going to Morocco and Spain for break? or maybe Aswan, Luxor, and Sudan? or maybe Tunisia? or maybe I'll just stay home. I'll let you know. Life is good.

Satisfied? Sheesh.

P.S. Philip was released to his family safely, and is now attending classes as per usual. He was blindfolded the entire time, but they didn't beat him up or leave any scars that I can see. Additionally, Ayman Nour (whose son attends AUC), the opponent in Egypt's 2005 presidential elections (who was jailed for forging the signatures required for the creation of his party after "losing" the election with 1% of the vote) has recently been released for "medical reasons". Perhaps Egypt is finally rethinking its 'jail first, ask questions later' policy?

Naw.

Free Phillip Rizk!

Classes are all settled and I am halfway through the second week of school now. Although I am currently still sleeping on a couch in some friends' apartment, I will be moving into a houseboat on the 15th.

That's right. A house, which also happens to be a boat, which also happens to be on the Nile. Jackpot. Even though it is a two bedroom place we will most likely be fitting three occupants in (somehow), so my total rent will be somewhere in the realm of 700 LE a month ($126!). It has a wonderfully large deck with a gate that opens into the river (even though I probably shall not be swimming due to the disgustingly polluted and parasite-infested nature of the water), a sailboat, windsurfing equipment, new appliances, a new bathroom, and, of course, it is a houseboat on the Nile.

I'm excited.

My schedule is as follows:

I am also taking an independent study (which, for some reason, doesn't show up on my schedule) that involves reading about anthropological linguistics and discussing it with the professor and Kat, this other aspiring linguist.

I like my classes.

Also, apparently a student named Phillip Rizk was abducted by the Egyptian security forces during a political rally encouraging solidarity with Palestine. No one knows where he is or when (if) he will be released. There have been a few gatherings on the AUC campus with people screaming through loudspeakers and carrying signs and everything. It is all rather surreal, but hopefully it ends with a positive outcome as soon as possible. Just thought you all should know.

This weekend I am going to the Black and White desert. The following weekend will be the houseboat house party. April involves at least 16 days of traveling (perhaps with my sister?) due to the awesome way the holiday was scheduled. Ummm... that is about it.

See you later.

Shalom? Salaam Alaykum? Hello.

In Tel-Aviv now, hijacking Wifi from some unsuspecting resident near our hostel. This is why I always will keep my network open: as a public service to weary travelers just looking for a little communication with their far away home. Is that too cheesy?

In any event...

On my birthday we wandered around the Old City of Jerusalem. We saw the Dome on the Rock, the Holy Church of the Sepulchre, the Wailing Wall, and other stuff whose names I don't remember. When it was dark out we snuck into the church on Mount of Olives, climbed said mountain, and then slid down the slippery road. We were wicked hungry at that point and ate at a delicious vegetarian restaurant on Jaffa street in regular Jerusalem (as in: not Old), after which we made our way to the bus station and rode for an hour here, to Tel-Aviv. At the bus station we asked the taxi drivers how much it would be for a taxi and they wanted four times what we ended up paying for the bus. I used my navigator skills and got us to the hostel recommended by the former ski team captain of Chelsea, where we got a room and crashed.

The next morning we rented bikes, with which Chelsea and I went along the beachfront to the southernmost bit of the city. I read a book while she looked for sea glass and napped, after which there was a meeting with Andy and Corina further up north by the marina that we missed. Lunch was at this wonderful natural foods grocery store, as well as some deliciousness from a nearby falafel place. After wandering a bit we found another hostel that was cheaper, more centrally located, and altogether more hostel-y. Back up to the other hostel to get the others, but they weren't there.

We waited around, found out they were there, but in a room, in which Lauren and Andy decided to stay the night. After returning the bikes, Corina, Chelsea, and I walked all the way back here to the better hostel. The worst game of pool ever attempted was then sucked up by Corina and I, and now it is now.

Later tonight it is off to find a piercing place, tomorrow we shall get lunch with Chelsea's friend who couldn't meet up tonight, and then we head back to Jerusalem for the West Bank, Sulafa and Muniir, as well as the Dead Sea (and friends). If you ask real nice, I might even put up some more pictures.

Kul Sinnah Wa Inta Tayib

Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday, dear meeeeeee.
Happy Birthday to me.

I'm in Jerusalem now. I'm eating breakfast which consists of: apple slices, jelly on pita bread, cheese, tomatoes, and cucumber. There is some other stuff that I'm not eating? In any event, here comes an update.

I didn't make the play, not even call-backs. I'm happy because that means my weekends next semester won't be taken up by rehearsals, so I'll be able to travel. Also, who needs theatre?

Chelsea and I spent all of Friday working on homework. Well, she spent some of the day annoying me, but that's usual. In any event, we left at 10:15 PM for Taba, which is the town on the border of Israel and Egypt. There was some sleeping, but there is this thing about Egyptian buses where they play a movie on the screens that come from the ceiling, which wouldn't be so bad, except the volume is at its maximum level and they play them all night long. When we arrived in Taba, we fell back asleep, thinking it was another break, so we had to be woken up by the nice bus people, who just kept asking, "Where you go? Where you go?"

Sidenote: Israel and the Middle East don't get along so well, so when talking about going to Israel or anything of the sort, well, you just really shouldn't do that unless you want to have an heated argument about its legitimacy as a state (Chelsea wants me to point out that this is a gross exaggeration, and mostly we avoid talking about the subject because it's awkward... okay?).

So there we were, trying not to say Israel but at a loss for words. Eventually, they say, "Jerusalem? Where you go? Jerusalem?" and we nod, and they point off the bus up some dark road where Israel is. Off we go!

So after this long empty road, we find that it really does end in the border. The Egyptian side checks us out with really no issues and we enjoy the sunset as we walk through no man's land to the Israel side of the border. When we get there, we are immediately aware that it is very different from Egypt's side, simply because there are women working! La de da, we continue through ten thousand gates and walkways, until we reach passport control.

So, we had been warned by Andy (who had gone earlier than us) that our Lebanon and Syria stamps might be a problem, but it was still really intimidating when they asked me to go in the little room with them and "talk". I do. We do. Mostly she (the interrogator) kept asking questions that I would answer truthfully, but then she'd ask the other questions and point out how my previous answers were inconsistent. Such as:

What are you studying?
Sociology.
Why are you studying sociology in Egypt?
Well, because I wanted to learn Arabic.
But you didn't say you were studying Arabic! Why are you studying Arabic?
Oh, yeah, well, I uhh... I'm also majoring in linguistics and I like to learn languages.
What?!?

What is your religion?
Atheism, I guess?
[angry look] What are your parents' religions?
I am not sure, maybe sort of agnostic or Christian?
[incredulous look] You don't know what religion your parents are?
Umm... no. I guess not.

On the bright side, at least I wasn't Andy. I'm sure he'll tell you what I mean when he updates. Once Chelsea was interrogated as well, and they let us through after our background checks, we entered Israel. The first thing we did is pay $15 for a taxi to the center of Taba where the bus station was. Then we started wandering around, looking for food and Internet.

A lazy day of napping and beach-side people-watching later, and we meet up with Andy, Lauren, and Corina, the other members of our posse. We wandered some more, tried to buy tickets for the 4:30 PM bus, but it was sold out so we got some for the 7:30 PM one instead. Side note: I forgot to mention that from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday is the Shabbat in Israel, which means nothing is open and no official services run. Which is why we had to wait until so late in the day to continue on our way. After more time-killing, we rode a five hour bus to our destination, watching most of Love Actually on three different computers. I say "most" because even with three different computers our battery power could not get us through an entire 2 hour movie. Lame.

We arrive, mill about, and then start walking toward the city center. We stop at a pizza place and borrow someone's mobile to call the people we met in Egypt who were going to put us up, who, as it turns out, are both out of town. Whoops! We get directions to Old Town and eventually make our way there and procure a hostel. That is where we now find ourselves now. So, I gotta go and like explore and stuff? :)

For Fox Sake

So, here I am again, a month since any blog updates, with too much to say and not enough time to say it. Why do I get myself into these messes? [sigh]

Here we go again?

There was the birthday party at Sequoia, a really posh restaurant on the northern tip of Zamalek, where there is a 90 LE minimum spending limit. This means a lot of shisha. Also some food? No, but really, their shisha menu was amazing: it consisted of a board with 40 little plastic containers for each of the flavors, like muz (banana), khukh (apricot), and ass (wait, what?).

There was a Halloween party where we overloaded the hammock and then it fell and my tail bone was crushed mercilessly. I felt like puking and passing out, but I resisted the urge because I knew there would be plenty of other people doing the same for different reasons and I didn't want to conform.

There was that time when I lost my AUC ID card, again. I've yet to get it reissued, again, because this time it will cost me 250 LE, or about $50. I'll just be all stealthy-like whenever I need to go in the library, I guess?

There were all those books I have read on my iPhone, which is the best invention evAR. So far: The entire Hitchiker's Guide trilogy, World War Z, Ender in Exile, Fahrenheit 451, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Timeline (yeah, sort of a Michael Crichton kick I guess), The Princess Bride (new second favorite book), Minority Report, Diary, Requiem for a Dream (amazing!, almost better than the movie), and The World without Us. That is "it".

There was that time I uploaded a bunch of new pictures to my Picasa account. You should enjoy them at your leisure.

There was the field trip to Damietta, a town on the coast of the Mediterranean, where our class was supposed to get information about the social movement that blocked a proposed fertilizer factory built by Agrium. Mostly it involved looking at the site and talking to the guy who said he started the revolution, and then eating at a seafood restaurant with the same guy, and then going to the place where the Nile and the sea met with that guy again, and then getting some coffee and leaving. It was fun?

There was that time during the previously described field trip where I was talking to the guy sitting next to me, Amr, and I mentioned I was going to India and he said he was too. Where are you going? he says. Mumbai. Me too! Weird. When are you leaving? he says. Around 30 December. Me too! Weird. (Later: Have you read Catch-22? he says. Oh my god it's my favorite book evAR! Weird.) It was all extremely serendipitous. We decided to combine our trips and now I'm going to India for a month (instead of two weeks) so I can work on an organic, sustainable farm with him. If I fail all my classes this semester, I'll probably just stay. In fact, I might just stay anyway.

There was Thanksgiving, where a few of us decided to go to Maadi house and peruse their offerings. At first no one knew where it was, and then I was told it wasn't in Maadi (a district of Cairo where all the American ex-pats live, essentially: fortress America), and then we heard it was, so we took the metro there and got in a taxi and were soon enjoying mashed potatoes, vegetables, crackers, and pumpkin pie. Other people may have enjoyed the meat selection, which I think was some sort of bird? Anyway, I ate too much pie, and then ate a little bit more because I could, and then went home and slept.

There was scuba diving last weekend in Dahab, which was quite nice. We did three dives on Friday and one on Saturday; I saw jellyfish, lion fish, eels, garbage, blowfish, rock fish?, angelfish, clown fish, and many more whose names I don't know. Also, does anyone else find it odd that there seems to be no rhyme or reason to whether the space between the word "fish" and its descriptor is present or absent? What if I made up a new fish? Which would I choose? Which would you choose?

There were the auditions for The School for Wives, a play by Moliere, that happened last night. I find out today if I was called back, and then sometime next semester we start rehearsals and whatnot. You should all come see it.

There was the time that I was supposed to write two book reports and a lot of reaction papers but then I just did other things. Oh yeah, that was always.

Two days from now is a ten-day trek to Israel/Palestine. My birthday will be celebrated by participating in a desert rave (if all goes to plan). Also, maybe I'll write some papers? We'll see.

Well, that is all I've got for now. Send me stuff. Money, mumkin?.

How Do You Say "Free Cookies" in Arabic?

Splendiferous times abound. In reverse chronological order.

I haven't had an ID for about a month (I lost it in Lebanon) and no one cared. Sweet, I think to myself, I won't have to pay the 100 pound fee to get a new one! Wrong. Today the security guards standing at the bus entrance said, "No, you can't come in," and I'm like, "Okaaaay... What should I do then?" "Go walk around to the main entrance." So I do. Fifteen minutes later (it's a long walk) I make it inside. "Where can I get a new ID card?" I ask. The library. Okay, but wait a minute, you can't get in the library without an ID card!? They shrug. I go to the library. I argue my way in. Where is the ID Center? Downstairs. I go downstairs. Turn here, straight there, lost. Where is the ID Center? Upstairs. Upstairs? Are you sure? Okay, whatever you say. I go upstairs. Somehow I'm not in the library any more. Once again, where is the ID Center? In the library. I go to the library. Hello, remember me? I go downstairs. Oh, I see, it's over behind every single bookshelf, in the back of the basement. I can't believe I couldn't find it before, when it's so obvious that it was here the whole time. Hello there, I'd like an ID. Yes, please charge 100 pounds to my account, because I have no money because I was robbed last night. Oh? I have to go upstairs to get a stamp on a piece of paper? Okay. I go upstairs. My knee hurts. Hi there, stamp please, thanks. I go downstairs. Hello again. ID! I win!

Last night, we went costume/clothes shopping. We met at seven o'clock. By the time we left, it was eight. We got some food, and then went to a shop that supposedly had costumes. Nope, just creepy dolls. Next shop that supposedly had costumes. Nope, just a display with clown wigs. Next shop that supposedly had costumes. Yes!? Buuut, no, only costumes for children. Across the bridge we go! Under the other side of the bridge, we enter Used Clothing Town. What wonderful pants! Why don't I try them on! Here, hold my other pants. Nope, don't fit. Sad times. I get my normal pants back, put them on. Hey, neat sweater! I try it on, it fits! I'll take it. Wait... maybe I won't. Because I don't have any money anymore. Hey, Egyptian dude? I had money in this pocket, now I do not. What gives? Another guy laughs hysterically. No, it is unnecessary for you to put your hands in my pockets to find the money, I've already checked. Oh, I see, you're going to do it anyway... and grab my butt. Nice. Okay, you can take your hand out now; it is clear the money isn't there. Thanks. So where's my money? The guy doubles over laughing. Sigh. I can't buy this sweater because someone stole my money, so, uh... bye. We move on. At another place I buy snakeskin pants and a snakeskin-like shirt. I'm going to be a snake for Halloween. We continue on. Andy buys a vest like Aladdin, and some puffy pants. I buy a scarf. I'm tired, time to go to Christianna's (it is her birthday today, or tomorrow last night). We do. Sleep.

The night before last I played rugby. Andy says, "Hey, wanna join the rugby team?" "Do I?!?" Pause. "Ummm... do you?" "Of course, you silly man!" We go. I have no cleats, so I wear my black boots, with no socks, because I forgot to ask Andy to bring them. The coach says, "Go play!" Ummm... I've never played before... but alright. Touch rugby. Drills. More Drills. Break. Drills. Tackle rugby. No one really ever gives me a position or purpose, so I just try it all. I'm not the worst, but I'm not good. The rest of the team kind of stinks too. Afterward, my knee hurts, I'm sore, I have blisters on my feet, and I feel like I could puke and eat a horse. Probably not at the same time. These pains will continue for the next few days, minimum. But, I'm on the team, I guess.

The day that had the night that I played rugby, AUC and Delicious, Inc. gave away cookies. Tangent: Delicious, Inc. is the company that AUC has awarded exclusive rights to sell food on the new campus. Being that New Cairo is not within a reasonable distance of any sort of civilization, they have quite a monopoly. Eventually the students protested (not literally) and got a few student run stands, so everything got a little better. However, in order to buy our love, they apparently decided to give out cookies. It worked. Back to the story: Chelsea and I get a cookie each, and she grabs another, "for a friend". Best. Cookies. EvAR. I get another one. Still great. We walk to the library. Oh, another stand? Don't mind if we do. Getting a little sick to my stomach, but that is the price you pay for The Best Cookies EvAR. I get to class. My teacher says (in Arabic), "you missed the opportunity of a lifetime!" What? Oh, you mean the cookies. I ate three. And here are some more. Yum. The end.

That's it. Khalas. My writing style in this post is dramatically different than I'm used to writing. I'm not sure why. Opinions?

Beach + Mountain + Nile + Frisbee + Sprinklers + Puppets + Midget = My Life

I'm skipping the Lebanon/Syria story for now so that I can actually update this thing and stop getting crap from my mother and grandmother. I want to do the trip justice, and I am only in the mood to do it justice every other Thursday, and then only if I've eaten three bowls of koshry under the hot, hot sun. I'll get to it soonish though.

Since returning from the eid break, I've had a good deal of experiences, some of which I will now describe.

Dahab: The weekend of 12 October was Chelsea's birthday, and because she wanted to spend it swimming in the sea, it was only logical to go to the sea so that she might fulfill her dream. Originally we--Andy, Chelsea, Christianna, Sarah and Katie (friends of Andy's who are studying in Ghana) and I--had planned on climbing Mount Sinai (where Moses was given the commandments, and Mohammed's horse ascended to heaven) the first night, going scuba diving the second day, and then lounging about on the third, however, our scuba guy wasn't up for sending a crew out for only one day of underwater adventures, so we ended up lounging about that day too.

It was a fun trip, characterized by a sleepless night of path-walking up the mountain (all the while hearing "Camel? Camel?"), a beautiful--yet eerie--sunrise, a Bedouin restaurant owner whom the girls just couldn't resist, a charging camel, a birthday cake surprise that wasn't all that surprising, a 10 minute Bedouin dance party, a lost mobile phone which turned out to be in my pocket all along, snorkeling, sunbathing, a free scarf from the shisha man, and mumkin* more.

Faluka on the Nile: As a secondary Chelsea's/Christianna's/Emily's birthday celebration, and also as an excuse to party on the Nile, we gathered up some people and rented a faluka. This excursion was far more successful (number-wise) than the last, and we had 19 people turn up for the festivities. Unfortunately, Christianna had a midterm the next day, and Emily was left behind when she went to get some phone credit, so they had to miss out on the awesome. We all decided that falukaing was a wonderful idea for biweekly fun, so about twice a month we'll be doing more of it, such as tomorrow night.

Picnic at AUC: Turns out there is a patch of grass on the New Campus, so a gaggle of us brought food and a blanket and showed the Egyptians how to enjoy greenery. For this to be fully appreciated, one must understand that the New Campus is in the middle of the desert, and I'm reasonably sure this basketball court-sized piece of landscape is the only one of its kind in the vicinity. Once all the food had been eaten, and after a short game of frisbee, we were informed that they would be turning on the sprinklers in two minutes. We quickly moved all of our valuables to a safer spot (which turned out to be not so safe, so we had to move them again), and then decided to not let a little thing like spraying water spoil our fun. Those of us who were still around danced about and threw the frisbee among the rainbows and grass and sprinklers and staring Egyptian workers, having a merry ol' time. After being soaked to the bone, a few of us needed to do something silly like attend classes or have midterms, so the game morphed into sprawling under the afternoon sun.

Night on the town: Last Thursday night Andy, Kira, Sarah, Chelsea, Kelby and I heard about a puppet show and decided to track it down. After a bit of wandering through the streets, we made talking faces with our hands and asked for directions, which we then followed. We found the theatre, paid, and went inside. The show had already started, and it involved a man, Sami, and a woman, Summer, who lip-synched a soundtrack of dialogue and songs, with the assistance of a few puppets: miniature versions of themselves, a creepy sun, a star, a few octopuses riding mashed potatoes, a king, a servant, a blue flautist, and an extremely flexible dancing lady. There were all kinds of adorable kids in the audience, so that was nice, but the sound was turned way up as usual, so that was less nice.

After the show, we lost Chelsea to homework ethical considerations, and then continued to the National Circus. We bought the cheapest seats in the house, were seated behind a bunch of other Americans (because we all know each other, so we must be friends, right?), and then were subjected to a [mostly] wonderful performance. A guy balancing stuff on a stick in his mouth started it off, followed by the clowns, one of whom attempted to juggle, though he was continually foiled by his midget companion. Next were acrobatic chair-sitters, a ring-on-a-rope swinger, and a really young kid who balanced on a board that was on a tube, and then used glasses to raise the level of the next board he climbed on, to the height of six boards. He was pretty awesome. Here is a picture:

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Obviously it isn't really proportional.

Next were the knife-throwers, where Andy and I tried in vain to be chosen as victims, but were passed by for people with better seats. Finally, there was the lion/tiger tamer. Now, I've never been to a circus with animals before, but I certainly don't think I ever need/want to go again. They had an intermission and set up a large cage around the ring, and then once the music started again they ushered the cats in. There were five lions, two males and three females, as well as three tigers. There were two platforms that the tamer made them jump over, and when one of them snarled at him or didn't do it right, he had their collar leashed from the outside of the cage and pulled tight, while he poked at them and whipped them into submission. It was extremely unsettling; even more so when some of the audience started to clap. More tricks followed: standing on hind legs, jumping over each other and the tamer, rolling over, spinning around little stools, and eventually, various ways of making showy exits. The best part of the whole thing was that it ended, at least as far as the cat-section of the show goes. The moral of the story: sad times for animals in the National Circus of Egypt.

So, that mostly catches y'all up to the now. More adventures are sure to come, so I'll keep you posted on them as they occur, more timely next time, mumkin*.

*mumkin means "maybe"

P.S. I forgot some things, but Andy covered them well enough in his post that I feel no need to elaborate. Also, if you're not already reading his blog, you should be. His and mine compliment each other nicely.

Five Minutes to Thursday?; I Am a Disco Dancer!

Our story starts not where one would normally begin, but, rather, a healthy twelve hours before, so that the entire context of the awesomeness of the past two weeks can be appreciated.

So, there we were, going to Khan-al-Khalili (the souq, or market, in the middle of Islamic Cairo) to acquire some Egyptian pancakes. What started as a group of about four of us quickly ballooned into four taxis full of people craving the deliciousness of sugary, sweet, pancakey goodness. Interestingly enough, the taxi that left five minutes after all the other taxis arrived first, defying all laws of physics of which I am aware, but, in any case, after about ten minutes of texting and calling, we were all grouped in a slightly conspicuous manner once again.

We walked down a street, wondering to ourselves how we would recognize this place of tasty wares, when we immediately came across a shop called "Egyptian Pancakes"—huzzah!—, we had found it. We sat down and were given menus populated with outrageously expensive items, a practice that seems to be relatively common here in Egypt (that is, English menus whose price of food has been increased by two or three times). The employees insisted there were no other menus (or prices), so we bought the bullet and paid $4 instead of $1 for our food. There were all manner of ingredients to be found at our table, such as: nuts, honey, ishta (butter cream), cheese, vegetables, chocolate, bananas, some sort of meat maybe?, and most likely others. After our wonderful meal, it was suggested we split up as to not attract the same sort of treatment by the rest of the store owners in the area, and, being a logical and wonderful idea, it was soon put into action.

Andy, Heather, and I wandered in the opposite direction of everybody else and explored a bit, talking to random people and trying to find some pretty earings for Heather. After getting a few necklaces and negotiating a price for Heather's new bag, we decided to head down a more residential street and attempt to make our way back home. We stopped a taxi and he insisted it would be some exorbitant fare to get back to Zamalek, so we opted for finding the metro instead, making our way in the general direction of the pointings of pedestrians whom we asked.

It was soon moderately clear that we might be lost for a good while, when, fantastically, a short, very old, Egyptian man essentially adopted us and took us to a microbus stop. Before I continue, I must describe what exactly our experiences with microbuses had been thus far: there are a few forms of transportation in Cairo, ranging from taxis, a metro (subway) system, city buses, and, of course, microbuses. Basically, a microbus is a giant van with about 16 seats, all of which are filled with two or three people, that drives around some indeterminate route, dropping off those who dare ride it, and by "dropping off" I mean slowing down ever so slightly so as to allow for the passengers to jump off and roll to safety. For the life of me I can't figure out how the whole thing is kept straight, considering these buses often have people hanging out the windows and jumping on the back due to their lack of space, and the speed at which they pass through the streets isn't conducive to safety in any meaning of the word.

In any event, Mohamed, this old man who was helping us out, shoved us onto a microbus (literally), and then sat down with us in the back trying to tell us something in Arabic. Eventually we were dropped of at a metro station with his number, an invitation to eat dinner at his place some night (which we'll be taking up as soon as I can figure out where he lives), and a wonderful story to tell you people.

It was pretty late by that time, so I just meandered about talking to people before I went to bed, ready for our departure the following morning.

Cue the real story: the next morning Andy and I woke up and packed. My bag contained a logic puzzle book, a notebook, a book on the history of Islam, a toothbrush and toothpaste, my passport, some money, a charger for my iPhone, a button up shirt, a pair of shorts, a towel, and a razor. I wore a button up shirt underneath a t-shirt, as well as my pirate jeans. Some of my traveling mates scoffed at my lack of goods, but, as the rest of the week will show, carrying around stuff sucks, and there will alway be my companions' clothes to wear.

After going downstairs we found out that a car bomb had been blown up that morning in Damascus, killing 17, so tensions were a little high and it was suggested that we not go to where bombs were being exploded. I pointed out that, A) we were more likely to die in a traffic accident in Cairo than suicide bombed in Lebanon or Syria, and, B) an incident happening so very recently might make it less likely to happen again, while we were there. All my talk about the dangers of real life didn't really help, but we finished our preparations and made plans to leave for the airport at 1:30 PM anyway, confident that it would all work out somehow.

Chelsea, Christine, Andy and I got a cab and left, only about half-hour late. There was some confusion about cost of the ride, so I explained the difference between seventy and seventeen pounds to our driver, and then we bargained him down to sixty (still far too much). After arriving at the airport we met up with Christianna, and then got our tickets... sort of.

It turned out that Andy had left his passport in his desk in the dorm room, so there was some frantic calling of roommates and friends to try and work something out, meeting halfway or whatever. Andy left, by himself, to get it all fixed, and the three girls and I made our way through a security checkpoint to the ticket counter. There we found that having a one-way ticket to Beirut (we had planned on buying tickets for the Damascus to Cairo portion once we arrived and were sure we could actually get into Syria) wasn't really okay with the airline. We explained our proposed itinerary to the nice Egyptair agent, and he asked his manager and finagled other things to make it all work. After he explained about thirty times that if there were a problem in Lebanon and we had to make a quick escape, we would be entirely culpable for any costs incurred by such a speedy departure, he gave us our tickets and recommended we say nothing about planned busing to Syria to the Lebanese authorities. Thanks, guy!

We went through customs and waited for the plane to start boarding in our terminal. Andy's whole situation was sort of a mystery to us, but they started loading people on the transport to the plane and he still hadn't arrived, so we stood their stupidly for a bit trying to explain to the ticket-taker that our friend would be coming shortly, but he just rushed us on the bus and didn't really seem to care. Once on the plane, I got a call from Andy saying he was past all the security, on his way, and he had had to argue his way through a few different points to make it all happen. Yay for him!

A short plane ride later, we arrived in Beirut. We made it through customs with no problems, without even having to buy visas. As we stepped out into the cool, fresh night air, we all decided that Beirut was pretty okay. While we waited for our couch surfing host to show up to take us home, Andy and I performed acrobatic feats for the enjoyment of ourselves and various Lebanese onlookers. Once our amazingly wonderful host, Walid, arrived, we loaded our stuff into his trunk and took off into the night.

On the way to his place he did most of the talking, telling us a little about himself (he has an advertising degree and sold alcohol for some large company in Beirut) and where we were going, which turned out to be not actually in Beirut, but in the mountains just outside, where people usually spend their summers, but where Walid spent his not-summers, because it was less crowded in the city proper, or something. Upon our arrival, we marveled at his spectacular view, had a dance party, and drank a little bit of his alcohol. Once we were settled in he corralled us back into his car and we set off for Night Life City, population: us.

We visited a crap-load of bars, mostly just walking in, looking around, and then heading off for some undetermined perfect locale. Some of them were pretty spiffy, such as the one that was built inside a giant pipe in the ceiling, which also opened up so its patrons could enjoy the night sky (but it wasn't open that night, on account of the rain; did I mention there was actual precipitation (!) in Beirut?!). Eventually we found a Latin-themed place with a dance floor, so we spent a better part of the night grinding against each other and watching Walid grind against the ladies. After we got a little tired of that joint, we headed out to greener pastures. Our departure was also slightly hastened by the fact that Andy had broken a glass on the dance floor and we didn't want to have our feet cut to ribbons. Not yet anyway.

Our next destination was this club called the Basement, which, surprise surprise, was in a basement. Chelsea and I almost weren't allowed in due to our non-club-friendly footwear (sandals/flip-flops), but Walid pulled some strings and the bouncer waved us downstairs. There was a lot more dancing, and sometime around five in the morning we decided to head out again, decidedly unsure where the night would take us. By the time we got to B18, this underground, open-topped, super-exclusive club, we were all kinds of tired. Walid didn't want to bug the owner (whom he also knew) to get us in for free, and we didn't want to pay the cover, so we all stood on the edge of the roof and peered down on the packed dance floor, and then made our way towards sustenance.

The place we went offered all kinds of delicious Lebanese dishes, and also seemed to be populated by much the same type of people with whom we'd just been dancing, because, as Walid informed us, going out to eat after a long night of clubbing was a pretty hip thing to do in Lebanon. We ordered a plethora of saj dishes, a sort of pizza/pancake/crepe thing which was scrumdiddlyumptious no matter what it was served with (cheese, thyme, other cheeses, vegetables, chocolate, bananas... etc.) and scarfed them down immediately. As the sun was about to rise, we raced back to Walid's flat in an effort to enjoy his view, but our plans were marred by the unfortunate running-of-Walid's-car-into-the-embankment at the bottom of his complex's driveway.

The road was rather slick from the rain/dew/something, and his driveway was rather angled, and he was driving rather fast in an effort to make it home in time, and while everyone else was sleeping in the back, I watched as we slid, kind of slow-motion-like, into a cement wall. The shock woke everyone up, but they were still kind of groggy while our surprisingly calm friend surveyed the damage and picked up the shattered pieces of his headlight. Once he was satisfied that he had done everything he could in collecting the pieces, we made our way up to his place and crashed (haha! slept) for a few hours.

After our nap, we decided to spend the day at the beach in recuperation, so we readied ourselves and set out in our slightly damaged vehicle. We stopped and bought some delicious bananas along the highway, and then drove north for a half hour to a swimming beach with a restaurant next to it. Andy, Chelsea, and I made our way quite far out into the Mediterranean, trying to get past the obnoxiously intense waves that were nearer the rocky beach. After becoming pruney, we started swimming back; however, because we had forgotten how crazy the waves were closer to the shore, there was some near drownings (Chelsea) and a smattering of sharp rocks in peoples' feet.

In celebration of our awesome accomplishment of staying alive, we all decided to get breakfast (lunch) by the sea, which was wonderful. We ate more Lebanese food and talked with Walid about history, politics, and whatever, and then hopped into the car and headed for downtown Beirut where we parked next to this gorgeous rock formation called "Pigeon Rock" (don't ask me why), and then climbed over the fence to explore the cliffs around it.

Essentially, the next hour of our trip was the happiest point in my entire life. I randomly found a rainbow kite, which didn't have string, so I made it my goal to sift through the various piles of trash that dotted the hillside and find some string so I could fly it. I was utterly successful in my endeavor, and soon had a length of ribbon, a bit of crappy string, and a bit thicker rope all tied to my kite, which I flew, and it was amazing. My comrades were all sitting around singing Disney songs, or taking pictures of the scenery, or meditating on the rock formations, and the sun was going down, and I was flying a fricking rainbow kite.

sigh

Oh, Lebanon.

Also the grass on the hill by the fence randomly started on fire, which was kind of weird.

Anyway, after the sun dipped below the horizon, we remembered were supposed to meet up with Wolf and Mitch at the Virgin Megastore, so we went there. They didn't show up at the appointed time, so after about hour we called them and found out they missed their flight, oops! It was a mixed blessing, because although they are totally cool guys (I have since met them and judged them thusly), having seven people traveling in our group would have greatly complicated all of our sleeping, transportation, and group dynamics. Some other time perhaps.

After that, we went to this art gallery in some random person's totally rocking apartment where the main attraction was a guitarist doing something with his guitar that involved not playing it, but it still made noise? I didn't really understand, but it was pretty interesting sounding and certainly added to the atmosphere. Watching the other attendees was the most fascinating thing for me, because I have never been around so many hipsters in my life, and I certainly didn't expect to do so while in Lebanon. When we were ready to leave, I stood behind the door and made creepy noises (ch-ch-ch-ch, ha-ha-ha-ha; from Friday the 13th) to scare Christine, which I thought was artsy and I decided to do more art like that someday soon.

We stopped at Walid's city-apartment for an hour or so, chatting and playing with his cats while he got stuff he had forgotten to bring to his mountain home, and then got sandwiches at a street shop, and then drove to the mountains. NOTE: When I say "drove to the mountains", I mean I drove to the mountains, because, for some odd/amazing/horrifying reason, Walid allowed me to take the wheel of his very-recently-crashed car, and drive us home while he slept. We lived!

to be continued...

I Am a Son of the Behaviorism

I spent a few hours organizing and uploading all my pictures to a web album. I'll hopefully keep it updated as I take more pictures, which, sadly, isn't as often as you all might like.

In any event, it has been a busy week yet again, with such enviable exploits as: scuba diving in the red sea, finding treasure underneath the waves, getting an ear infection that made me deaf in my right ear, buying tickets to Lebanon for our Eid Holiday, facilitating the class discussion in two different classes, saving Heather from the decidedly grisly fate of being locked on the library roof, eating dinner at Ashraf's, cooking dinner with Andy (which we brought on a faluka with a few people for Ashraf's going away party), smelling Ouza (which smells like Easter), getting my tourist visa extended to six months (after it had already expired by four days), working on my Arabic with Yahia, and biting no less than three people.

So, as I mentioned, I will be going to Lebanon for our upcoming holiday (which doesn't technically start until Tuesday, but we're skipping some classes to extend the fun). My travel companions will be: Andy, Chelsea, Christine, Christianna, and Wolf. We bought one-way tickets to Beirut, which leaves sometime tomorrow in the afternoon, and then we will be attempting to gain entrance to Syria. This will be either impossible, or, very easy, depending on who you ask. Assuming all goes to plan, we'll spend a few days in Syria before taking a bus and/or other land travel through Jordan (possibly doing another desert safari—on camels!), and then finally it is on to a ferry over the Red Sea, where we'll end up in Egypt once again.

I'm not really a planner, so hopefully the whole fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants thing will work out as well as the rest of my life, which is to say, perfectly.

Assuming I live to tell the tale, I'll see you later, hopefully with more content, eh?

P.S. There is a travel advisory for traveling to both Lebanon and Syria, so, if my imperialistic American identity gets me killed or kidnapped (which can happen in Egypt as well, I suppose), it was nice knowing you.

Under the Sea

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Let's Use My Mother, What Do You Think?

Two weeks later...

I, in no particular order: started school, had African Iftar, went to a Zombiedan party, went off-roading in a bus full of students, went to an Arabic language contest, went to a gigantic mosque, was proselytized, found cheap food on Zamalek, made lots of new friends (and a few enemies, just to even it out), taught one of the security guards a Knock Knock joke (which he gets wrong every time: "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Banana" "Banana who?" "Why are you crying?!"), changed my plans for the upcoming break a billion times, lost my passport, did a refresher course for scuba diving this upcoming weekend, rode in a taxi that nearly ran down no less than fifteen people, did some homework, didn't do some other homework, got a debit card, got the debit card eaten by an ATM, got another debit card, got money from the ATM and paid back those whom I had borrowed from, lost a roommate (we'll miss you Jonah!), rearranged my schedule, bought a crap-ton of groceries, found my passport, played Spore, neglected my blog, and, well, lots more.

I'll try to keep up a decent pace for this thing, but I make no promises. For those who are interested, here is my schedule:

So, talk to you later, perhaps.

Do Not Tell Me to Fuck off; I Don't Possess the Mental Acuity to Understand What the Fuck Is Going On

After Siwa comes Alexandria.

Well, in theory anyway.

Originally we had planned to bum around Cairo for a day before heading North to Alex (as the cool kids call it), where Mark had some connections for a beach side apartment room type thing for us to stay in. Instead, Muniir and Zach called us, asking if we'd like to go out with them in Cairo and then head to Al-Fayoum for a day or two, so we said, "Sure!" (it was the last trip we could take with our new friends, for after it they would return to their various places of residences, and we can always go to Alex some other time).

Thusly, after a night of moderate drinking (during Ramadan alcohol is even more scarce than normal, because many of the places that serve it are closed) at Pub 28, we woke up and went to the train station to catch a train to Al-Fayoum. After looking around the station, asking a few guards, semi-official train-station-people, and random strangers about the train, we discovered we had been given incorrect information (there weren't actually direct trains). We then met a nice Egyptian who talked with us for a while about our other options (and gave him our number for later hijinks).

We chose to ride the metro to Giza, where we were supposedly able to catch a bus the rest of the way. Our party consisted of me, Andy, Jonah, Heather, Allegra, Muniir, Mercedes (an Australian who met Muniir at his hostel), and Meg (same as Mercedes, though they were not actually traveling together, which I thought was coincidental).

We: got split up as the metro doors closed on the males of our party, as the girls had chosen the mostly empty Only Female car of the metro; caught a taxi to where the buses were and then walked around (with incorrect directions, which came to be a theme of the trip) before finding a minibus to take us the rest of the way for 6 pounds; sat in a minibus for an hour or so; found a taxi to take us to a certain ancient site that would be separate from our full-day tour the next day; saw the ancient city, whose name I forget, where they mummified crocodiles to appease a certain deity, whose name I also cannot remember; had the taxi driver take us to a very large lake, in which I swam (or, more accurately, walked, because the water didn't get above my head until a few hundred meters out); saw a fountain; and arrived at the hotel, where we added another to our group, Sulafa, a friend of Muniir's from, well, I'm not sure.

A note: everywhere we went the tourist police asked us where we were staying and various other questions, because apparently lots of terrorist attacks happen against tourists or something, and knowing where we could be found in such an event would help? We even had to have a police escort when we went out for dinner later that night, but being as he was in jeans and a button up shirt, we're not sure if he actually was a policeman.

After a long dinner we crashed and got read for our tour the next day, which we would be taken on by the same taxi driver who had carted us around thus far. Early the next morning, a few of the girls were awoken suddenly by pounding on their door (from inside the hotel room) by said taxi driver, who was screaming, "Time to wake up!" or something ridiculous like that. Once we had all opened our eyes, and still well before eight o'clock, we set out.

Basically, we went to a temple, a pyramid, another pyramid, and yet another pyramid (with a truck full of military following us the whole way--slightly creepy, what with their AK-47s and everything). Some of us weren't interested in paying 15 pounds to see the sights/sites, but I was and did. They were all very neat, especially the last one, which turned out to be the first pyramid ever built by the Egyptians. We climbed down a narrow passageway and got to hang out where the mummy had been uncovered, some 60 or so meters below the ground. Also, there was another tomb for the rest of the family, down which we also climbed, although it was less easily accessible, and the "guide" more or less just grunted and pointed at darkened areas, encouraging us to explore. On the way out I picked up some trash, which made me slightly sad. We were in these 4000 year old structures, where someone had just decided to treat like a dump heap and throw their water bottle away, because it is really so hard to carry it the few feet to a trash bin.

Anywho, after all the driving about, we had the taxi driver bring us home to Cairo. In total, it was the most expensive thing we'd done in Egypt, though still cheaper than any single trip I took while I was in Europe, which says quite a bit about favorable conversion rates being awesome.

Muniir stuck around for another night of boozing, and then left for lands unknown. Early December, and perhaps during the break after Ramadan, we will be visiting him in Jerusalem (or Florida, as we were referring to it around Egyptians, whose opinion of Israel isn't very positive), so he'll certainly not be gone from my stories forever.

Next comes: school!

Is Your Crazy President Bush Still Alive?

Preface: Before I begin my story, let me inform you as to a few things.

Firstly, Monday was the beginning of Ramadan, the month of fasting for the Muslims, which essentially entails not eating or drinking between sunrise and sunset for the entire [lunar] month. Being that Egypt is an Islamic state, one will find that many stores and restaurants are closed during the daytime, only opening after Maghrib, which is the prayer between sunset and dusk. Due to the absence of food in people's stomachs, after the sun is gone over the horizon, they descend in droves on the unsuspecting streets of wherever and gorge themselves on whatever they can get their hands on (which is understandable given that we are in the desert, and food and water are kind of necessary to live). Additionally, during the night it is far cooler, so their normally slightly shifted day is shifted even further, so that bed before one o'clock is rather early. Us non-believers have been affected by Ramadan greatly, considering we have no obligation to fast, nor do we feel particularly compelled to do so, but find ourselves without a whole lot of options during the day other than processed chip packages or Twinkies, assuming we can find a store that is open.

Another point is that most food is exceptionally cheap here in Egypt. I just want to say that now, so that every time I mention a meal you can assume I paid less than $5 for it, and understanding the quantities of food you must know I consume, this is quite a feat of inexpensivity.

Despite everything being pretty cheap, I can't afford any of it. I lost my debit card, and have had to mooch off of my roommates until a replacement can be acquired, which should be any day now.

Finally, 20% of the world's unexploded land mines are located here, in the deserts somewhere. Slightly frightening.

Chapter One: On Sunday, Andy, Jonah, Mark, Justine, Allegra and I woke up at sevenish in the morning and hopped into taxis to the bus station. We'd already purchased tickets for the 8:15 AM bus, and made our way to the waiting area in quite good time, leaving ourselves plenty of leeway. While we were milling about one of the guards sketched a picture of me, which I thought was rather sweet. Being that it was a smidgen earlier than we were used to waking up, we were slightly tired and restless, thusly when our bus arrived--a measly half of an hour late--, we were thrilled.

We drove for something nearing eight hours, with a few stops for praying and facility usage, before we arrived in Marsa Matruh, where we found the next bus and jumped on, ready for another long trip towards our final destination. However, after a relatively shorter time, only four hours, we arrived in the darkness of the Siwan Oasis, a hop skip and a jump away from the Great Sand Sea and Egypt's Western neighbor, Libya.

We were inundated with little boys advertising their donkey carts, and we chose a couple and rode them to Yousef Hotel, our place of residence for our time in Siwa. We unloaded our stuff and set out into the night, gravitating towards a very well lit area of ruins in the center of the city. We climbed about and danced merrily for a bit, during which time I found the mantis whose picture I posted earlier. At the bottom of the melted city, so called because after three days of rain in 1926 it literally melted, there were quite a few less-melted dwellings still in use by various tenants, including a donkey and two girls running a handcrafted goods shop. There we bought a few souvenirs and chatted in halting Arabic, asking their names and how many siblings they had and such, and then started off towards food. Before we could get very far we were chased down and given presents, which I thought was rather cute. I was given a brush-thing, while others received: more brush things, a basket, and maybe a scarf or two. All-in-all, I'd say it was a good deal.

The restaurant across from our hotel, Abdu's, became our location of choice. We ordered one plate from about every type of food they served and talked to the servers and petted the stray cats. We learned that they offered safaris into the desert, which was convenient, given that was the main thing I was looking forward to in our trek out there. Mark bargained the price of an overnight down from 130 pounds per person to 100, and we made plans to return the next day around four in the afternoon. We were all pretty beat, so we crashed in our rooms, which, by the way, only set us back $2 a night per person.

Chapter 2: The next day we woke up early and rented bikes, making our way towards various sites of interest to keep us busy until our safari. We: swam in Cleopatra's Bath, a well of fresh water in the middle of a road about 10 meters wide; had a diving contest with the locals, in which--despite what Andy may have said--I was the clear winner; visited what was left of the ancient temple of Umm Bayd, on which I climbed; explored the temple of the Oracle for a good while before being discovered by some ticket-sellers who weren't there earlier, who tried to make us pay (we gave them enough to cover half-price and then left); and finally made our way back to town (me with a flat tire) to see what else we could get away with.

Our time had mostly run out, so we returned the bikes and killed a little bit of time in front of Abdu's, talking to people and making sure we were packed for our desert adventure. We were introduced to our guide, Mohamed, who then loaded us up into his 4x4 and sped off into the desert.

Essentially, driving through the sand is like riding a roller coaster. For some periods, you are going sort of slow, climbing the humongous dunes located pretty haphazardly throughout, while during other periods, you shoot down the top of the dunes at insane angles, fearing for your life and the life of your co-travelers. After about a half hour of zooming about, the car started making terrible noises and couldn't seem to accelerate. We unloaded and climbed the sand (much harder than you would expect), waiting for our guide to tell us we were ready to go. His method of repair consisted of slamming his tools inside the hood, accrediting the loss in power to some sort of dirty filter or something.

He beckoned us back to the truck and we sped off over another dune, only to find that our problem was only temporarily fixed, and we came to a stop again. For the next hour or so, our tired, hungry guide made the best of the journey as he could, popping out to hit the engine with his wrench whenever the issue flared up to unignorable heights. We eventually came to an oasis, which was just a surprisingly large lake with a few reeds around it. We all jumped in and started swimming while Mohamed attempted his hand at a more solid fix for the filter.

A few other travelers joined us in the oasis, and we talked with them while tiny fish bit at our skin, which was felt rather odd, but being as they were harmless and supposedly were cleaning us, we let them do their thing. The sun was beginning to sink lower, so we loaded up and headed off to the next destination, another oasis.

This one was rather different than what one might think of as a conventional spring, considering it was discovered by the Russians when they were looking for petroleum, and because it was a hot spring. We sat in the sulfur-smelling, slightly slimy water for a bit before heading off to some vantage point to better experience the sunset.

I danced to some music on my iPhone while the others meandered about, doing their things. Once the sun was over the horizon our guide shuffled us back into the car and slammed his foot on the pedal, taking us on another merry ride. He guzzled nearly two liters of water and stuffed some dates in his mouth, which was a rather funny sight (he was driving rather fast and erratically at the time).

We arrived at the camp with no problems, and then sat about for a few hours, eating and being waited on by another guy, whose name I forget. After a time we decided to take a walk in the desert, with our new friend silently following close behind. We came to a hill and laid about, some of being buried in the sand, and I got a massively awesome massage that cracked every joint I think I have (as well as being tickled a few times, which I thought was rather strange).

We set up some beds and drifted into philosophical conversations and whatnot, with a few of the girls claiming they could see UFOs. They were probably just really dehydrated, I imagine. The flies were slightly annoying, but I fell asleep for spurts with my blanket over my head, which suited me fine, although it was a little hot.

Chapter III: We ate breakfast the next morning and then were taken back to town by Mohamed, who had returned sometime during the night. We crashed for a few hours, taking a desperately needed nap. During the nap Mark struck up a conversation with two guys, Muniir and Zach, who were also blasting through the locations of interest in the area. Our nap ended at around noonish, and we hopped into the back of a pickup with our new friends and set out to see some stuff.

There were/was: a few holes in the side of a cliff that were supposedly Roman encampments, but Muniir exclaimed his doubt at that assertion's veracity, so I don't know if it was true; a partially excavated tomb said to be the last resting place of Alexander the Great, whose body was apparently never discovered; and finally, a very out-of-the-way well, similar to--but smaller than--Cleopatra's Bath, with date trees all around, so we ate our lunch lounging in the refreshing, salinated water.

Muniir and Zach had their own safari to experience (though not an overnight one), so we made plans to meet for dinner and set out on our own. Nothing much exciting happened; we simply wandered in and out of the stores, and made sure we knew where the bus station was for our departure the next morning. Around seven, the guys returned and we sat down for our Iftar (even though we hadn't really fasted, we were pretty hungry) at Abdu's. Once again, we ordered a crap-ton of food, and then got to know our co-adventurers.

Once we were sufficiently stuffed, Mohamed (our and Muniir and Zach's guide) wanted us to come see something that he called "Magic", so I took it as magic tricks or the like, but it turned out to be the name of his souvenir shop, where we drank tea and learned about each other. Someday I'll recount his story of rags to [relative] riches, but for now you should just know that he started with his family's donkey cart and ended with a 4x4, a shop, his own house, and a nice reputation with rich European tourists, a few of which he will be taking on a 16 day excursion deep into the Sahara desert (which means "desert desert", as "sahara" means desert) costing 150 Euros a day. Wowzers!

After we made plans to smoke shisha on a roof with him, we went to buy a blanket Allegra really wanted, and then got invited for another round of tea with another shopkeeper named Mohamed. He said some hilarious things, including the title of this particular entry. We waved goodbye and headed back to meet up with the other Mohamed, found him, walked to three shisha joints (which were all closed), and then settled in the middle of the park in the middle of town, which I thought was rather refreshing. After a long night of karkade and shisha, we retired and slept for a few hours before our bus departed.

Chapter The End: The ride back to Cairo was shorter, but slightly more eventful: in Matruh we tried to walk towards the Mediterranean but were thwarted by an unconventional route which, while scenic, was not direct at all, which ended in us turning around and getting lost again, only to be saved by a nice old man driving a plastic recycling donkey cart; while sitting on the bus waiting to leave, some sort of scuffle broke out between one man and various other parties, which delayed our exit quite excitingly; on the bus they played an extremely old WWF championship match, which featured the NWO and Hulk Hogan, which I thought was completely crazy; and in culmination, we made it back to our hotels in one piece.

The rest of my life will come later, I'm tired.

Mambo?

I'm too tired to recount the story of the past few days for you all, but hopefully Andy's blog will suffice for the time being.

Also, here are some pictures:

Achtung, ich will tanzen!

Since the last time we met, I've: gone to two more Arabic classes, the last of which culminated in a four hour field trip with our instructor to various locales, including hungry, homeless children scamming our drinks from us, delicious fatir (the pizza thing we had at the party a few night ago), and a shisha bar; watched a movie called Fuera de Juego at the Ecuadorian embassy, for free, and in Spanish; missed a light show at the pyramids, discovering later that it was pretty lame and not worth the time to see it; had my fortune told (very indefinite: all "maybe"s); walked around a couple more hours in the streets of Cairo; finished a book or two; started another two books; and, well... isn't that enough?

Five hours from now we'll be waking up to jump on a twelve-hour bus to Siwa, where I'll get to lay by pools of crystal clear fresh water, bask in the sun, and die of dehydration. Also, a safari in the desert? donkey carts? no Internet? We're not sure. I'll let you know when I know, but if you don't hear from me for the next few days, I'm not dead. Yet.

Teach Yourself Arabic: Lesson Talatah

Without further ado, content: I have been taking a Survival Arabic course for the past four days. At 1:30 in the afternoon, I spend about three hours being drilled about the colloquial Arabic word for 'eggplant', or 'change', or 'where'. Despite a rough first day, it has been going pretty well, and even better on days when I study. Today I was called into the office for some reason to which my teacher was not privy, but I figured it had something to do with payment for the course, because they did not have me officially registered when I got there, and they had to add me to a list. I was correct. I explained to them that my home university would gladly pay them if they sent and invoice for the amount necessary ($200, I believe), though they didn't quite understand, I don't think, and asked me again where my receipt was. I reiterated that I was specifically instructed not to pay for the course, because my study abroad adviser would incorporate it into my program fees, and we wouldn't want to pay them twice, now would we? Eventually, he had my write it all down, so he could show the accounting department that something was being done about the delinquent who wouldn't pay his dues.

As I understand it, AUC will be doing this sort of thing a lot. Their organizational skills leave something to be desired, you see. Conversely, in some realms, they do much better. Take, for instance, the student party from which I just arrived home.

At 5:00 PM most of us were bused out to the new campus for the first time, which is located in New Cairo, about an hour through the desert, Southeast of Cairo (normal). I was amazed at the grandeur and excess in the $500 million dollar facilities, especially with all the fountains and landscaping that gives the distinct impression they plan on putting grass in (so much water!). Here is a power point tour that can serve as a replacement for the pictures I didn't take. We deboarded and walked towards the magnificent gates that led deeper into the campus, all the while obnoxiously loud techno music blared from an area near the edge of the grounds. We were told to wait, and then told to go towards the music, and then told to wait, and then told to go back, and then told to turn around again, and go towards the--now ready--amphitheatre, from which the music had been originating.

We were lined up in lines according to our sex, and then given our free gabaya (a sort of traditional outfit dress thing; I traded mine for a red, flashy, girl one--busting down gender roles, wooh!). A few carts were set up for food, including: koshry (Egypt's most famous dish, mentioned a few posts ago), ful (pronounced 'fool'; essentially refried beans in pita bread), an eggy-bread thing with vegetables and meat (after a bit of mangled Arabic, I got them to make a batch without meat for myself and a few other non-meat eaters), and shwarma stand (sandwiches made from meat that cooks on large, revolving posts). They also had coconut milk and really intense grape juice. Once we got our food we sat down in the designated area, which was also populated with rugs and chairs for a little more of a homey feel.

For the next five hours we were entertained with a DJ, Nubian dancers, an Arabic band, some Egyptian dancing, and more DJing. I danced my cares away most of the time, but took breaks for a self-guided tour of the campus and H2O replenishment. Andy didn't leave the floor except when we were forced to sit down once or twice, what an animal! There was also a belly dancing competition that I did not win, but I feel it was because the judge must have decided that comparing my dance skills to everyone else who was trying would have been unfair to the non-professionals. I mean, I even had those tiny hand cymbals for extra effect, so it clearly wasn't a fair contest. All in all I would say tonight was great, and AUC isn't entirely incompetent. I reserve the right to change my judgment, at least until I see how the rest of my schooling here goes.

Last night was similarly memorable. I competed in a scavenger hunt (where I also was denied my rightful title of Champion). My group (Steph, Miho, Chie, Chelsea, and myself) had 29.25 (we only got 1/4 a point for a picture of a place that used chopsticks, rather than the chopsticks themselves) out of 39 items found. Another group was said to have had 32, but after an examination of their checklist, we discovered that a certain, multi-part item was not counted as one point, and instead counted for each multi-part it had. We conceded defeat, however, as the other team had already been given their prize (100 LE, or about $20, towards a purchase in the AUC bookstore), and we didn't want to seem ungrateful for the chance to get free food and fun. Next time though, I plan on winning so hard that the other teams say, "I didn't even know you could win that hard. Wow."

Another yesterday event: I shaved my head and beard. Both were growing into the realms of unwieldyness, and I didn't feel like their upkeep was worth the trouble. Also, I didn't want to buy shampoo.

So, life goes on. I lost my debit card the same day I finally got my PIN reset, so now I have to wait until they send the new card to my mother, who then will be sending it on to me. I'm going to mooch of my friends for the most part, but being as I bought a meal today for the equivalent of 60 cents, I don't think I'll be needing much. Sunday we're heading out to Siwa, which is an Oasis near the border of Libia. There were mentions of a safari into the desert for the night, as well as donkey carts. I think it sounds lovely, don't you?

After Siwa, we're going to Alexandria for a few days, and then school starts on 7 September. I'm excited, because I like my classes and my fellow students. I'll make sure to keep taking pictures and posting posts, and you all make sure to keep sending e-mails and commenting on said posts. Stay classy, and good day to you.