HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?

Quite amazingly I received my AUC acceptance packet in the mail today. I sincerely hope that my financial aid comes through in the same way it did this last semester because there is no way I will be able to afford the $20,000 tuition for the year. On an unrelated note, anybody have any inside info on the lottery numbers?

Unfortunately, the '2' key on my keyboard seems to be malfunctioning. This didn't bother me at first, until I realized that it was also the '@' key. I think that is rather odd considering I probably type the number more than the symbol... but I guess something about not being able to input my e-mail for logging-in purposes without slamming my pointer finger down and potentially injuring myself just really seems to bug me.

I have two cats now and though I am not entirely sure how I ended up with Helena as a permanent resident (she came over for a play date with Koopa and then just sort of got left behind), if I ever hear from her owner again I might have to demand some sort of ransom, because even though they attack each other every few minutes or so, I am sure Koopa likes having someone else to beat him up besides me.

Crazily enough, the city of Minneapolis doesn't allow an unused car to be serenely parked on the street anymore. I noticed that this morning that I had two expired tabs tickets under my wiper; both of them for the unrealistic sum of $105. Why it is illegal to have expired tabs on a parked car, I will never know (actually, I plan on contesting the tickets so maybe the judge will tell me).

Killing hookers and shooting rocket launchers at cops will soon be on the agenda. Grand Theft Auto IV comes out in ten short days, and I truly hope I have all my homework done by that time because I can't imagine I'll be interested in going to class for a few days. The good news is that there are only about two weeks left of class, so I won't be missing much.

Love always,

Your pal Luke

He Is Risen

So, I return from the depths of the abyss with three new items:

• I re-learned how to ride my bike no-handed today
• I have officially submitted my application for AUC (after only two months of putting it off!)
• I went to a free preview of Doomsday, and all I have to say is: wow, just wow

Until next time.

Say "Hello" to My Little Friend

The picture above is the newest member of our growing household. Can you believe I got it for free?

Seriously! That chair would have cost probably something like $100 in the store, and it was just sitting there next to the dumpster waiting to be taken. Sure, it may only have one out of five wheels, and it may wobble a bit more than is safe for frequent use, but it is one comfy chair!

Oh, yes. I also got a cat. His name is Koopa (like the turtles from Mario) and he is adorable—annoyingly so.

Four Funny Work Conversations

Me: (pointing to a necklace with a couple gold rings on it) So, are those, like, from the Lord of the Rings or something?
My Co-worker: Actually, my parents died when I was a baby, and these are their wedding rings.
Me: ...

...and...

Me: Did you know that 25% of the particulates in Los Angeles are from China?
Different Co-worker: Oh? Damn immigrants.
Me: ...

...and another...

Guy on Street: Hey, who are you supposed to be?
Me: I am Captain Organic, I deliver pizza for Galactic Pizza.
Guy on Street: I could go for a slice.
Me: Oh, sorry! I do not have any pizza on me.
Guy on Street: I was talking about you.
Me: ...

...they just keep coming...

Me: Here is your pizza.
Deliveree: Thanks... so I guess it is pretty cold out today?
Me: Yeah! It sure is. [I get in the gizmo and start going back to home base]
Me: (realizing that you can see my nipples through the spandex) ...

To My Mother, Who Liked the Bit About the Horse

Less than twenty-four hours remain in our illustrious voyage to a faraway land, so that now, sitting in bed after a somewhat unsatisfactory breakfast (for the bagels and English muffins and toast they had all varieties of jam, jelly, and preserves: razz berry, apricot, grape, strawberry, etc.; however, they were limited to one very bland and sad choice of peanut butter: creamy; how odd!), I once again find my thoughts turning to life-pertinent things, like rent, bills, work, and just what the heck everybody has been up to for the past week and a half!

Here, in my particular fashion, is what I have been doing: took a bus to Los Angeles from Oceanside in order to catch a bus going further up the coast to San Luis Opisbo, unfortunately, because we were not privy to the "line" situation, we stood in the wrong section, and when our bus arrived, we were complained out of our slightly illegitimate spot in line, which resulted in the bus leaving (full) without us aboard; we ended up being required to wait five hours for another bus going to the same place, but, luckily, our money was refunded (actually, $2 extra was refunded per ticket, but they did not seem to care when I informed them) and we were given a free meal ticket for the station's food court (which, similar to the meal I had this morning, was rather bland and not-good), so I do not consider the wait a complete loss; the previously mentioned sister's boyfriend's aunt allowed us to sleep in her domicile for a couple nights, while we visited Hearst Castle (eerily reminiscent of Citizen Kane I might add) and wandered around a few of the local beaches; for the last leg of our trip, a friend of my sister's, John, decided to drive us up the coast along highway one, which turned out to be a spectacular ride with all the views and waterfalls and attempted campings considered; we made it to Santa Cruz and camped for a couple more days, enjoying the beaches and boardwalks of the decidedly tourist-filled town, before continuing our journey to San Francisco, where we are now.

As Jennifer predicted, we were very nearly unable to depart from her friend's company (and his incessant, horrid taste in music and propensity for speaking constantly about nothing?/everything?/anything!), for, as she so succinctly put it: "We could not get rid of [him] if we tried,"—which we did!—until we were safely outside our hostel in the city. Although it was a trying trip, we survived, perhaps a bit better for it.

As promised, here are some pictures of our trip (click for the full version)!

Is There Anything Cooler Than the Flag?

Not that I was ever interested in moving here, but, I certainly know that I will be comfortable not doing so after this trip; that is to say, California is still worth a cursory visit; or, if you have a bit more time, a summer at an aunt's house (free of charge, with a car, no dogs, and a queen sized waterbed) like my sister's friend, with whom we are currently staying, has been doing; I simply wish to point out that Los Angeles is not all its cracked up to be; with its hour-long car rides to end up four miles away at a skate shop that does not sell the right kind of skate boards; or, the not-entirely unfounded feeling that the company that owns your condo and the health inspector must be working in tandem to prevent your obvious infestation of German cockroaches from allowing you to break your year-long lease, forcing you to relocate, while still paying the insanely over-inflated rent (however, if you end up moving into the guest house of your uncle who makes loads of money from voice-over work, enough that he lives a few houses down from Paris Hilton and has a view of the city that would make a blind person weep, perhaps it is not all bad, after all).

Here is a quick re-hash of the past few days: read three of the five books I brought along, and purchased another in order to extend the fun; spent about twelve hours total on public transportation, which would not be so bad if it were not filled with needlessly ornery bus drivers and scuffles about which clamps need to go on a wheelchair, thus extending what would be a fifteen minute ride into an hour of bus-riding fun; stayed with a friend of mine (at the previously mentioned gorgeous hilltop home) and visited Venice Beach (though after dark, without all the supposed people-watching and shopping that would have been possible before dusk), LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art), and The Grove (the first outdoor mall in the world/country/state); spent a good deal of time—where else?—on the beach; and, finally, I have sufficiently submersed myself in the mindset of vacation-hood, so that I do not know what day or time it is a good chunk of my wakened being.

So, after visiting a few friends and temporarily parting ways with the other member of our voyage, we will soon be making our way back up the coast to stay with the aunt of the high school ex-boyfriend of my sister, who apparently Jenn has not seen in something akin to three voyages of our lonely planet around the sun (when the aunt-in-question made her prom dress, I hear). After that we will be road-tripping further up to Monterey and Santa Cruz, camping for a few days, and ending up in San Francisco to catch our flight (which leaves right after midnight one week from today) back home. Sounds lovely, does it not?

Next time I shall share some pictures, but for the moment my sister sent back the memory card we were using, so I have none to post: sad times.

Buh-bye!

An Exercise in Excess

One of the stewardesses suggested that I be on the advertisement for their particular airline due to the fact that I ate five of the English muffins with egg and sausage (sans sausage); a new record, I am told. This strikes me as rather funny, I mean, what is it about eating a good deal more than is probably healthy for my bowels that makes me uniquely qualified for their commercials? Additionally, what does eating five persons' shares of the complimentary "breakfast" have to do with selling the brand?

On our airline, you can gorge yourself silly, like you deserve to be able to do.

Cramming your orifices full of mediocre "food" is just one of the ways that our airline shows you how much we care (also, we have funny in-flight emergency instructions).

The pilot encourages you to eat the left-over food, in that he will not land the plane until all the pre-packaged sandwiches are eaten. Now.

Prevent terrorism, eat more.

My [older-younger] sister, her friend, and I, have now arrived at our bungalow, which will serve as our basis of operations for the first leg of our trip. Here in sunny Sunset Beach, we are just a stone's throw from the ocean, a surf board rental shop, and about three tattoo places, I know we will be in for a good few days of beaching, surfing, and tattooing (probably some other things too).

I brought a camera this time, so I shall do my best to pass along some photographs of our adventures in the land of golden tans and string bikinis. I know you all wait eagerly for their arrival, and I hope you enjoy living vicariously through me. I know I do!