I Have Bad News...

Greetings all, the last couple weeks have been filled with such splendor that I feel I would not do them justice with my meager recollections. Thus I will just let everyone know I'm still alive, and in just over a week I will be on a plane back to the good ol' U-S-of-A. I look forward to seeing you all and hearing about your own adventures while I transversed the mountains of Munich and hitchhiked across the English Channel. Good luck surviving the next week, I'll certainly need it to get all my homework done!

P.S. Look at the funny letters I can do on the German keyboard! äö§µßü So silly!

Current mood: nostalgic

Eye Haf Vire Tearibl Noos...

Hey y'all. Back from Scotland and killing time in London until our field trip to a mosque and the key ceremony at London Tower

York was very fun: I saw a play, played hackey sac, watched my classmates get plastered and sit on each others' laps, went to a chocolate factory, learned a great deal about *gasp* international business, played Egyptian Rat Slap—or something like that—until all hours of the night when the security guard kicked us out for being too rowdy, swallowed my tongue ring, witnessed a rugby teams crazy craziness, and basically enjoyed myself in general.

Edinburgh consisted of a ten mile walk to the wrong Argyle St., a ten mile walk back to the right one, a haunted hostel, four Polish bricklayers and a musically induced seizure, [helping] cook lunch for ten (where we bought way too much food), numerous piercings, countless drunken debaucheries, a Norwegian girl getting her purse stolen, passing my tongue ring, SPACEBALLS!, cold and rainy weather, and a five hour train ride back to London.

All in all I'd give York and Edinburgh (on a scale of 1 to sweet): a gnarly. Being that our law firm visit was canceled this morning I'm off to Camden Town to find a piercing/tattoo shop... :) Wish me luck!

Current mood: recumbent

I Have Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad News...

This week was a bit less mind-blowing then the previous one, yet still entertaining enough to allow me to press on. Below is one thing per day I found worthy of sharing.

Monday: We talked to a homeless person in class.

Tuesday: We had class in a pub.

Wednesday: In Introduction to International Business we had a friend of our teacher's daughter talk to us about the Oxford school structure. Interesting, but... really?

Thursday: Went to open mike night and experienced some poetry, examples include: "Ants Are Going to Take Over the World", "Dracula Has AIDS", and "Dinosaurs Died of Indigestion". It was dandy.

Friday: Went to a circus! All human, all fun! Quite entertaining.

Saturday: Guy Fawkes Day! This is the English version of Independence Day, so there was plenty of fireworks and blowing things up all night long.

Sunday: I... did homework. Yeah, exciting I know.

Also due to the fact that some of us feel our classes lack a bit in the 'learning' portion, we have decided to take it into our own hands. Tonight we are going to meet at a pub and present on and discuss the topic we have each researched for the past week. It may sound nerdy, but I'm quite anticipating the feeling of actual growth in my lobal regions. It isn't that our classes are bad, they just don't have much substance. I am not complaining though, less substance = better grade. :)

Talk to you all sometime next week upon my return from Scotland. Spamalot is only two weeks from now! Yipee!

Current Mood: productive

J'ai De Mauvaises Nouvelles...

Salut mes amis! I have returned from my trip to France, and it was undeniably a doozy. To regale you with the tales of the past two weeks would be boastful and could not do my experience justice, so I'll stick with the highlights reel.

Thursday night I slept at Derrick's step-second-cousin's roommate's flat. Friday morning I got into Paris. I learned upon arrival in Rouen that if I valued friends based on the awesome-factor of their home town, and their subsequent ability to guide me through it (which I do), Bastien ranks number one with no contest. That night consisted of a French dinner (cheese) and a Jazz concert. The next day involved a road trip across France to Lyon and another Jazz concert (slightly more on the Gypsy end of the music spectrum). Later I had my first clubbing experience--on a boat--which lasted until daybreak the following morning. Then there was a market, a roman amphitheater and lots of churches. On Monday Bastien and I drove back home with a pit stop in Versailles. The following day I was left to my own devices in Paris, where I stayed in his father's apartment just on the edge of town. I walked for twelve hours the first day, visited the Louvre, walked some more, and met up with Bastien's sister's boyfriend and walked even more the second day. Finally: I went to the Pompidou modern art museum, saved some girls from a transient bum who insisted on throwing crackers--given to him by me--at them, experienced a naked drunken mob of Parisians on the metro, saw a tiger on the street, visited the top of the Eiffel Tower at night, slept in a train station until I got kicked out by the police, moved to the street with some hobos, and then went back to London.

All-in-all it was totally worth it, and I learned more in one week than I have all semester so far.

Most useful phrase: Tu as un beau clu, tu baise?

Thing I am taking back to America: Greetings by kissing.

Only bad thing about the trip: That I had to come home.

Something to look forward to: Moving to France next summer to work on Bastien's farm.

Current mood: satisfied

P.S. Upon returning to Oxford I attempted to reinvigorate my mohawk hairstyle, only to find that my razor died after getting essentially half of it done. Upon trying to charge it without a converter, my adapter has been fried, and hence my new picture showcasing a halfhawk. Enjoy!

I Have Apocalyptic News...

This past week was a busy one, and the one coming up looks even busier. The one following that one is even more busier. Perhaps even the most busierest.

Past: We went to London and a few museums, including the coolest museum known to man that contained the coolest exhibit known to man. Let me just say: A five story slide spiraling into infinity is most certainly art, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. I also spent the weekend in Ireland dancing, getting kissed by drunken Irishians, eating, touring, watching a nifty Comedia-inspired play, reading and finishing Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, contemplating my navel, dancing, and just being a booze-hound in general. It was quite fun.

Present: This week is the last week of class before our break, and we have two midterm papers, a painting, a research paper, notes to take on the book, a paper on our visit to the hotels, a paper on another country, an oral presentation on a country, and various other minor things. My completion percentage so far... 10%! I will get it all done in time though, I am just that good.

Future: Next week I am off to France for a seven day party-thon involving a friend I met in America: Bastien. The day after we get there he is going to bring us to a party in Lyon (2 hours south of Paris) and I am sure I have no idea what to expect. After he leaves the country a bit later to do some traveling of his own, I expect I will have met enough people to shack us up for free... or maybe we will just sleep in the park like one of my fellow students did on his trip to the lovely land of France. This also means I probably will not be updating my blog and such for a bit, so you will just have to find some other way to live vicariously through me, mother.

I have yet to receive any mail from you people, and I am not at all upset. It just means I have no obligation to send you anything! Keep being lazy, as it allows my laziness to proliferate as well! Yeah! Go exclamations!!!

Till next time: All I have learned about life can be summed up in three words. It goes on. - Robert Frost

Current mood: exanimate

I Have Good News... (For People Who Love Bad News...)

The doctors have once again reminded me of the terminal-ness of my condition, and as a result of the stressful two-day school week I endured they recommended I take a vacation.

What better place than Amsterdam? My partner in crime, Ann, and I decided there is no better place to forget your woes than where one can buy marijuana cigarettes legally, and also we must not forget the red light districts which are common and sanctioned as well.

Due to these circumstances the last three days of my life are a blur of drug-induced hallucinations, shady alleys, and dutch. Lots and lots of dutch.

What I do remember is: a clown's bellybutton, a magic wallet, a vegan restaurant, pear juice, Robin Williams as a robo-... I'm sorry, I mean 'human', fisherman's sandwiches, two Germans, a Spainard, and couple of Dubains, one of which recently quit his illegal job and plans to go to England to pursue more employment, the market, some sort of magic mushrooms, the homeless, a statue of a policeman, flat tires, Sidekicks: The Best Movie Ever, du walen es spuit, bed stealing, and of course the holy Euro which is not as nearly inflated as the God-forsaken GBP.

Next weekend is Ireland, and I believe seeing some Irish music in an Irish pub drinking Irish beer with the Irish sounds like a good way to end my life, or at least forget the one I have got coming.

P.S. If you give any validity to any of the drug references in the previous yarn, you must obviously be a stoner yourself and have no clear grip on reality. The end of my existence is not enough reason for me to cloud my experiences with bong smoke and the moronic stupor of drunkenness, so give me some credit.

Current mood: high

I Have Disastrous News...

Each day I edge closer to the oblivion that is my end. Quite a sobering thought, though it keeps me on my toes. The doctors are still scrambling for a cure, and being their test subject has become extraordinarily tedious, but in the name of science and health, I push on.

Busy week this week. I saw Stonehenge, which was quite interesting. I went to Bath and wandered around a bit after our tour, only to discover the awesomest socks ever. I went to London on two separate occasions and can now say I've been to more museums in the past week than I have in my entire life previously. I also got to see a hotel room which costs £5,000 a night (about $10,000 for those who are math impaired) and Pink had just recently filmed a video in it. I saw an English movie for class, which means I have tomorrow off. I also got another class off near the end so I have a five-day weekend to abuse. I shaved finally. I spilled yoghurt on my fellow student Kelly's foot, which she will never let me forget. Today is pub quiz night and picnic day. I look forward to both immensely.

That is it, except for the fact that I'd like to ask my mom to stop calling me a jerk. It really hurts my feelings... :(

Current mood: quixotic

I Have Catastrophic News...

The doctors say my condition is irreversible, and well into its stages of maturity. It is only a matter of time before the inevitable occurs and I move into the land of the great beyond. This week I realized how much I take for granted, like me knee, and the ability to walk.

When they said I'd have wireless access in my classroom what they really meant was if I stand on my head in a pool of raisin oatmeal on the third Tuesday under a full moon, I'll get one bar of service. Those tricky Brits.

I've been busy the past week. My mates and I have been out in the pubs virtually every night and some of us show no signs of stopping. Last night was my host brother's birthday (28, oh how old!) and so I had some quality time with them, and decided they're a jolly bunch.

Classes should be very simple, and I look forward to having very little homework so I can go to some crazy-exotic trips for the weekends. What it looks like so far is; Norway, Denmark, Wales, Scotland, France, Greece, Amsterdam, Ireland, Germany, and of course many trips to London and around England. My only hope is that I somehow win the lottery (without even playing it) and can afford all these excursions without going into horrible debt, or selling my body on the street. I swore that one time was it, and I want to keep it that way.

Interesting trivia: we have class in a classroom that also has the most expensive piano in all of Oxford occupying it, which only a handful of people are allowed to play apparently. One of which is surely me. Don't you agree?

Circle One

Yes          No

     Maybe

If you message/post/deliver your address to me, there is a chance that I may even send you something back. So hop to it.

(My Address)

12, Heath Close
Oxford, England OX3-7NJ

Until next time, adios!

Current mood: drunk

I Have Dire News...

After three long days at the doctor's office I have been diagnosed with an incurable fatal disease. My days in this world are relatively short and thus I must live life to its fullest and take advantage of the opportunities that arise. I would like to thank you all for sharing your wonderful company with me and allowing me the pleasure of getting to know you.

In accordance with the wishes of my doctors they have instructed me to keep a diary on my final days, so as to leave something behind for those who choose to remember me when I am gone. I will try and spotlight the important events, though everything seems rather monumental now that I have discovered my fate. I hope you enjoy this intimate look into the life of a nigh-realized young man's last days, and ideally it will allow you to look inside yourself and realize how important your life really is as well.

I have walked about 30 km in the past three days, and my legs are feeling the burn. I met a girl who goes to school with Emma Watson (Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movies) and apparently she is a nice girl. I have upset my host family due to the unannounced fact of my vegetarianism, but they seem to be adjusting nicely. The son of the woman I am staying with is a professional football player who plays for the team 'Oxford United' and I plan on seeing a few games (for free!) and learning what all the fuss is about. After a feeble attempt to remember my PIN for my ATM card the machine decided to not give it back, and thus I am without cash and have been bumming money off my fellow students. I have been given a tour of the secret areas of Oxford, and I have decided it is one of the coolest cities I have ever been in. I watched 'Some Like it Hot' in the middle of a street with an entire neighborhood of English folk, one of whom also let me use their child's fold-up-chair-thing. I have been instructed on two separate occasions to send something back from America to various people (Triscuts and Lucky Charms if you are wondering). I have run out of time for being on the internet, and must check up with you all later.

Cheers!

Current mood: busy