Me: (pointing to a necklace with a couple gold rings on it) So, are those, like, from the Lord of the Rings or something?
My Co-worker: Actually, my parents died when I was a baby, and these are their wedding rings.
Me: ...
...and...
Me: Did you know that 25% of the particulates in Los Angeles are from China?
Different Co-worker: Oh? Damn immigrants.
Me: ...
...and another...
Guy on Street: Hey, who are you supposed to be?
Me: I am Captain Organic, I deliver pizza for Galactic Pizza.
Guy on Street: I could go for a slice.
Me: Oh, sorry! I do not have any pizza on me.
Guy on Street: I was talking about you.
Me: ...
...they just keep coming...
Me: Here is your pizza.
Deliveree: Thanks... so I guess it is pretty cold out today?
Me: Yeah! It sure is. [I get in the gizmo and start going back to home base]
Me: (realizing that you can see my nipples through the spandex) ...
